Loss of Sexual Libido
What are the main causes of loss of libido in men?
The main causes of loss of in men include emotional and health related issues. On the emotional side nothing kills off sexual desire like overwork, stressful life circumstances, and relationship problems. When it comes to health, lifestyle choices like too much alcohol or recreational drug use and smoking decrease sex drive as well as having a general health problems like poor circulation or diabetes.
And in women?
Women experience the same sorts of libido issues where, e.g., when juggling too many balls they find their sex drive is a big zero or if they’re not well the last thing on their mind is sexual desire.
Which age-group of men are particularly susceptible?
In younger age groups lifestyle choices like working long hours, or using too much alcohol; and emotional issues like boredom, or unhappiness in a relationship are more likely to effect libido. As men get older they’re likely to develop more health problems that diminish their desire.
What about more unusual and/or weird remedies?
The more unusual remedies for loss of libido include creative relationship techniques. Letting go of social inhibitions, going and having fun, and finding his inner child with his partner, refreshes a man emotionally and can re-establish sexual desire. Taking time out for a bit of self-indulgence and luxury also gets a man more in touch with his sensual side. Also research shows that to take risks and seek excitement often leads to a man feeling sexually aroused—so he should challenge himself.
Go on an action sport weekend, go abseiling, do a commando course—anything that gets his heart rate going is likely to benefit his libido. There are many aphrodisiacs on the market but rather then getting ripped off by something you buy on the Internet visit a reputable health store for things like yohimbine, Padma 28 or horny goat weed extracts. Of course nothing beats quality time, some dirty talk, sharing fantasies, and dressing up in sexy gear boosting libido.
What should you try if nothing else works?
After looking at the reasons for your loss of libido, trying traditional remedies and getting creative with others, a man should never show away from talking to their GP about loss of libido. Book a double appointment so you have plenty of time to discuss your needs.
Are we programmed to lose our libido?
Despite research suggesting that we may be programmed to lose our sex drive many couples will feel unhappy allowing their sex-life to slip. As with any muscle group, if you don’t use it, you lose it! The biggest sex muscle is your “mind” so it’s important to keep it exercised.
Try these tips
1. Each day give yourself a few minutes to relax and visualise a sexy memory or experience you shared with your lover. Go over the detail recreating in your mind the entire experience—where it took place, how you were feeling, and what you did to each other. Stimulating your mind through “active recall” will stimulate sexual interest.
2. Introduce some spontaneity and occasionally surprise your partner with something new—freshness awakens desire. You could initiate love-making at a different time of day, in a different place, or in a different position than your usual.
3. When you have to text, email or ring them, flirt a little. Tell them you’re fantasizing about them, ask what they’re wearing, and tease them about what you might do to them that evening.
4. Stimulate your skin—your biggest physical organ by gently caressing the inside of your wrist or behind your ears during your break-time. Waking up your skin like this will increase your sensuality.
5. Take up something new and fun together like abseiling, dancing, or any adventure. Getting your adrenalin pumping increases all important blood flow around your body.
6. Don’t forget introducing little daily pleasures like shampooing each other’s hair, or spoon-feeding each other sensually. These increase sexual desire.
Other Dr. Pam Articles
What Your Sex Dreams Say About You
Dr. Pam Spurr is an award-winning radio presenter, agony aunt, sex writer, and behavior and relationship expert. She is the author of 13 self-help books, some of which have been published in numerous countries and have become best sellers. Since 1997 she has appeared regularly on both radio and TV in the UK. Through numerous magazine and internet columns, and newspaper articles she’s advised millions of people on their relationships and sex lives. Follow Dr. Pam on Twitter.