Sex Ed for Seniors
Let us talk about your grandma and grandpa having sex shall we? In recent years there has been a lot more publicity showing that people over 60 are having sex. Not only that, apparently they are enjoying it very much. (If you are in the over 60 category and want a good—okay steamy—read, "Still Doing It" edited by Joani Blank. Most excellent!)
Although Seniors are still having fun and going hog wild, unfortunately they are not always following safe sex practices.
In the last five years, Health Canada has published a concerning trend amongst people over 50 years of age. Health Canada states this category is becoming more at risk to contract HIV or AIDS. In fact in 2002, one in five AIDS cases were people over 50; this being a dramatic jump from one in nine in 1994. Health Canada statistics also show this category having 11.5 percent of the reported cases of AIDS.
It seems to me sex-ed classes need to be taught not only in high schools, but also where seniors reside.
When AIDS came to the surface in 1982, the most at risk group at the time - a.k.a. homosexual men - at once changed their lifestyle habits. Today, due to strong campaigning and education by government and non-government agencies, the average Canadian under 50 understands the importance of safe sex to guard against AIDS (whether they are following this credo or not is a completely different column).
However the senior group was never a target group for any of these organizations to educate. It was never assumed people who were getting on in years would go around having promiscuous sex. Guess we were all wrong.
Here are a few common sense answers to why this group is becoming more at risk.
Number one, as we already discussed: our society believes seniors are sexless. It feels good and safe for us to imagine grandma and grandpa sitting around in their rocking chairs, waiting for us to visit, maybe eating some ice cream. For us to imagine our grandparents having to sneak around a nursing home because the administration frowns on them having sex, is just too much for our little brains to take.
Number two: this group does not see themselves as an at-risk group. Why? Let us take a look at what sex was like in our grandparent's day. Sure, there was a bit of fooling around, but people did not switch partners and engage in casual sex the way people do today. Sure there were STDs, however the big percentage of cases were concentrated to isolated pockets of large groups of men - such as an army base. Catching an STD for the average person came as a shocking surprise. Hence their perception is what they had known as young adults: the average person is clean and STD free.
During their day the use of condoms was solely meant to ward off pregnancy. Therefore, seniors associate condom use with preventing pregnancy. Guess what? They are now past their childbearing years.
Number three: many (but certainly not all) doctors feel uncomfortable speaking to a senior about their sexual habits. Statistics show 75 percent of men aged 65 to 79 years old and 64 percent of women in the same age group say they are still sexually active.
I have spoken to a number of seniors who have asked their doctors about sexual issues and then watched as the doctor squirmed, gave a brief answer and moved on. What is most sad is a lot of seniors only feel comfortable discussing such delicate matters with their GP.
Number four: sometimes it is not easy to diagnose HIV or AIDS in the senior patient. A trend occurring is men are having sexual relations outside of their marriage, contracting HIV and giving it to their older wife. These wives have no idea and often do nothing until it is in the end stages of HIV. Since some of the symptoms of AIDS are similar to conditions related to aging, like dementia and pneumonia, doctors treating that senior may not know better to have them tested for the virus.
Number five: there is a delicate, cultural more for this generation that states the man is in charge. This generation is pre-1970s feminism and although these women are nobody's pushover, the prevailing belief is the man has the last say. If the female in the couple initiates condom usage and he says he does not want to, she will likely acquiesce to his wishes.
HIV and AIDS are still very real and spreading. If you are a devilishly sexy single over sixty engaging in some fun sexual activity, please educate yourself on safe sex practices. As they say, use it wisely or lose it.