Boyfriend Keeps Photos of His Ex
My new boyfriend still has all these pictures of his old girlfriend on the walls and constantly tells me how she never did things I do. He is a really sweet guy but I feel am getting mixed messages from him--that I have all the problems.
For the majority of people female or male the last thing they want to be reminded of constantly is who was there before us. Believe me this isn't a head in the sand attitude rather the practical how can you expect someone to be with you when their heart and memories are stuck in the past...and on the wall.
The pictures may be symbolic of something he's not saying. Were we face to face I would ask a number of questions. Could it be that he likes the way he felt and hence looked with her? Who broke up with whom? Does he want that type of relationship again?
If someone keeps referring to an old flame there is a reason. In essence they are tripping up the potential of their future relationships over their past relationships.
But I am also hearing he isn't being up front about what he feels isn't in your relationship. And he may not be clear in his mind but his actions seem to suggest he keeps identifying your behaviors as the problem. Does he not take any responsibility for problems being about him? Are the comments always about the same issues or does he move the target and you never know what may be next?
His referring to the pictures are the springboard for the two of you to talk about other things including you asking him if he is still in love with her.
And remember actions speak louder than words.
Larry Michel discusses how to manage when your partner isn't over their ex. (via YourTango.com)