While speaking at a sex show in Vancouver, a colleague mentioned a discussion with her morning waiter from our hotel restaurant. He confessed to her that no woman he has yet met was ‘perfect’ enough for him.

As such he decided the best compromise was to buy a perfectly proportioned blow up doll. Problem was it was going to cost him $10,000 USD plus. He had been saving from his two waitering jobs and had almost come up with the entire amount. He was eagerly anticipating when he would finally be able to have his perfect woman.

What I found 'interesting' was my colleague’s reaction. She is in the business of selling sex paraphernalia and yet she was mildly disgusted with this man’s intentions. From her reaction, I assumed he was some overt pervert let loose in Vancouver.

As fate would have it, the next morning this man was my waiter. To my surprise he was extremely courteous and polite; in fact, he was the epitome of professionalism. As I covertly watched him under lowered lashes I could tell he treated his fellow female staff with the same level of respect.

Fetishes are definitely something people don’t understand and therefore label as deviant. Because these people don’t tow the what-is-socially-acceptable-for-sexual-behavior-line (i.e. heterosexual monogamous sex) they are automatically labeled as freaks. It is my experience that, generally, these people are just the opposite.

Some people have certain proclivities that make them sexually aroused—like BDSM, feet, or latex, or blow up dolls. So what?

As long as they are safe, sane and consensual with what they are doing, then there should be no reason to judge that person.

But yet we still do—even people in the sex industry who deal with this all the time are judging. You mingle with fetish people on a daily basis. It’s only when you find out what they are up to behind closed doors that things get weird for you.

I appreciate complete sexual tolerance will never be something I will see in my lifetime. Ironic as people feel they are liberal enough when it comes to sex.

Artist describes how he became a life size doll maker and what it means to men to have his art.

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