How to Be a Great Kisser

Great kissing is good for you and your relationship. Kissing releases endorphins and oxytocin which leads to feelings of overall happiness and helps you feel more bonded and connected to your partner.  It also decreases cortisol which is the stress hormone.

Kissing can be more intimate than intercourse. Kissing dos and don’ts are very subjective; thus explore your likes with your partner.

What makes a “good/bad” kiss?  (Remember, this is very subjective!)
From our experiences and our work with couples, “bad” kisses include:

  • Trying too hard to be perfect at kissing
  • Being too stiff and/or too eager
  • Kissing too hard
  • Having too much tongue / jamming it down partner’s throats
  • Having chap lips
  • Too much slobber--too much saliva (your partner should not feel like they are drowning!)
  • Biting too much or too hard (again…very subjective)
  • Bad breath and/or body odor
  • Too much lipstick
  • Staring at your partner while kissing

“Good” kisses include

  • Thinking about your feelings and conveying them through the kiss
  • Being relaxed and natural
  • Thinking about your partner and what they like.  Let them lead some of the kissing!
  • Good hygiene and breath.  Carry mints.
  • Starting off with closed lips and slowly adding some tongue.
  • Soft and smooth lips
  • Opening your eyes only for a few seconds
  • Using your hands too. Soft and affectionate touches on your partner’s face is nice. Or try placing your hand at the back of your partner’s neck.
  • Slowing down and enjoying.

Kissing tips for the first kiss

  • Pick your moment and look for proper setting
  • Watch for positive body language
  • Don’t ask
  • Be relaxed and natural
  • Keep your tongue to yourself at first. Use the tip of your tongue to play with your partner’s tongue.
  • Let your partner lead some too. Remember, you’re learning what they like too.
  • Slow down
  • And Enjoy!

Kissing tips for couples in long-term relationships
Kissing is unfortunately the first thing that dwindles in long-term relationships. And it can be the first step in losing passion.

  • Make it a priority--make a point to kiss every day (longer than a quick peck).
  • Try kissing for more than 10-15 seconds.
  • Have make out sessions.
  • A kiss is great all by itself. Kissing does not have to be a stepping stone to something else. Simply enjoy kissing.

Mary Daniels discusses the basics to being a great kisser. (via VideoJug)

About The Author

Chuck and jo ann bird
Drs. Chuck and Jo-ann Bird
Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird are both board certified clinical sexologists and relationship experts, counselors/coaches and speakers. Make sure to read their blog, watch their YouTube videos,  follow them on Twitter and Facebook.
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