Sexy Love Affair Checklist

Sometimes what our relationships needs most is a little attention and revitalization. What would it take for you to kick-off your yearlong commitment to the love affair with your partner and help grow the spark back. A little effort can be met with grandiose rewards that can leave you both not only happier but sexually satisfied as well.

Sometimes we grow into our relationships, fall into a pattern and become so comfortable that it can actually become detrimental to your success.

It is easy to forget that long term relationships require continuous work, reflection and an orgasm or two.

Here are a few of my suggestions you might want to think about if you feel your sexy love affair with your partner might need a little sexy injection!

Do you share many of same goals?
Checking in with partner on a yearly basis is a great way to re-connect and make sure you are both still working towards shared goals and interests. Spending an afternoon devoted to looking at your yearly calendar and communicating things you would like to do differently, keep the same or discover anew is a great technique to keeping you both on the same track emotionally and financially.

The key to long term relationships is the acknowledgement that you will both change but that you can do so and grow together and adapt by sharing similar goals.  

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This year might be a great time to make the commitment to doing at least one thing together for the both of you that is fun! For example-cooking on Sundays, learning to golf together, going to the market every Saturday, etc.  Keep the activity or committed time creative if you like, but just make sure that both of you are fully in and that it has the potential to be something that you both can grow to love doing together.

Do you make a commitment to your sex life with your partner?
Without a happy sex life, you might as well just be friends and reduce the heartache either of you may be experiencing. We all have a desire to be wanted and loved. The intimacy we share with our partners is a large part of what keeps our relationship different from the others we hold dear in our lives. With this though, needs the acknowledgement that many of us will experience fluctuations or sexual droughts throughout the course of our relationships.

These fluxes are normal and natural especially in periods of personal life adjustment. After a while it can seem like we have lost the spontaneity factor in our sex lives, but as we grow, we also need to be aware that actually making and taking the time to invest in your sexual relationship together is how our relationships grow and mature. Spontaneity is fun but not necessary.  In a world where everyone has an electronic calendar and a busy individual lives planning sex can actually ensure that you are taking the time to connect with your partner.

Sending dirty text messages, leaving little love notes that talk about how excited you are for the sexy party for two in your bedroom that evening can have you in heat and keep you horny all day long - which can be just as exciting. So make the time, to take the time and reconnect sexually with your partner.

Do you have realistic expectations?
Your sex life is like a fine wine; it’s supposed to get better with age. If you put in the time and nurture your sex life with yourself & with your partner, your sexy love affair will be charged for many years to come. As humans, we are naturally selfish and we can forget that our relationships take just as much work as our fantasy football leagues.

What is important to remember is that if the two of you can agree that you both need to give more than you will naturally begin to feel more bonded & conscious of your actions. In relationships the realism is that you will disagree at times, you’re going to fight, but you’re also going to love, enjoy, create, and agree. Sometimes we can become overwhelmed about where we are right now, instead of looking forward for what’s to come.

Nurturing our intimate relationships will allow you both to explore new things about yourself and about each other, (like new erogenous zones) which all come from building trust.

The Power Couple discuss concrete ways couples can create personal and relationship goals.

Do you celebrate anniversaries or large accomplishments?
Sometimes we can lose sight of what is important in our lives. Reaching our goals and catering to the needs of others can often stray us away from what is really important in our lives. Being able to share in honouring and celebrating each other can lead us to feel a sense of unity and cohesion in our relationships. Be proud of one another!

If the last thing you want to do is be happy for the person that you’re supposed to love then, maybe it might be time to check in with yourself. What is it really that you want, because clearly it might not be that person? Along with celebrations comes very sexy celebratory lingerie! Take the time on both sides to indulge a little and celebrate with your sensuality and put on something that feels just as good as it looks!

Do you touch, cuddle and kiss?
We have for some reason nurtured a hands-off policy in all areas of our lives. Did you know that North Americans on average touch one another less than many other countries in the world? I’m not saying we have to be hot and heavy in every dark corner of the party, but being able to give and receive a daily dose of physical affection with your partner is a healthy way to communicate that you’re connected to one another.

Physical touch can make the connection feel real. Words can sometimes feel like a band aid because change often comes with action. On a date with your passion partner? Try sitting next to each other rather than across from one another. Being able to maintain physical contact can lead to some fun flirting, inconspicuous naughty petting and a reigniting of the sexual spark between you.

If you’re looking to rekindle your love, beginning by simply touching one another in a sensual manner can be the glue that heals, calms and restores your relationship. Don’t be fearful to overtly show your affection to your partner. PDA is what makes the world go round!

Romantic love is when passion and love combines. Sparking that passion between the two of you is work and it takes work. Love is something to be earned. The commitment you make to both can start as soon as you want it to.


About The Author

Carlen costa
Dr. Carlen Costa
Dr. Carlen Costa is a certified Sexologist, speaker, blogger, TV and radio personality, which includes resident Sexologist of The Love Shop, 103.9 Proud FM on the Mike Chalut show and Host of Sexy Living Rogers TV London. She writes an advice column for Premier Life along with other online and print publications. Visit her website, follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
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