Week #12: Praise His Penis!
Yet Another Chaotic Week…
I had my parents visiting this week—Valentine’s week…a very, very busy week for me. My newborn is teething, yadda, yadda, yadda. All I can say is after this flat-out crazy week, thank goodness Dr. Brian recommended the Tenga Flip—I needed the laugh.
The Parent Libido Dampener Effect
No question, I waited until my parents left before I could have sex. Nothing zaps my amorous mood faster than my parent’s sleeping in the bedroom directly below me. Yes I’m 41, grown up, and married but I still feel like I’m 16 years old sneaking around.
This libido-dampener is only topped by my mother-in-law’s guest bedroom where there is a picture of the Virgin Mary, hands clasped in prayer, serenely looked down over the bed. Even a sex expert has her limits. Maybe that’s the mother-in-law’s secret chastity belt.
Dr. Brian’s Excellent Penis Advice
Before we get into the Tenga Flip, I wanted to share a wonderful Dr. Brian tip you can use to brighten your man’s Valentine’s Day: “Praise his penis”.
Men love, love, love it when you tell them just how wonderful their penis looks. It may seem silly to some women—at least it did to me when Brian first told me—but it’s 110% accurate.
Try it. You will be pleasantly surprise at how your man walks around like a prize peacock for the rest of the day.
My Masturbating Pet Peeve
I’ve met countless women who aren’t interested in sex after baby. That’s perfectly fine; it can take up to a year before her hormones readjust themselves. But these same women get their panties in a complete twist if their husbands take care of his own needs in the interim.
Come on! Please don’t become the woman who says, “If I’m not going to enjoy sex than neither can you.” Him masturbating does not mean he doesn’t love you, or find you attractive, or is ‘cheating’. Masturbating is healthy and natural and men should never be made to feel wrong about it.
In fact, experts report that about 94% of adult men masturbate regularly. So it you want to help your guy out, there are toys on the market that will produce some extremely powerful orgasms.
That’s where the Tenga Flip comes in. It’s a funny looking device and I had to call Dr. Brian to find out how it all worked. After he gave me a brief tutorial, I was really jazzed about trying it out.
How Did I Enjoy Tenga Flip
It was incredibly cute and unexpected. Knowing he was in for a Valentine’s surprise, my husband casually said, “Let me know if I should cancel a hockey game.”
Cancel hockey??!?! Him playing hockey (four times a week) is sacrosanct. He must have been really excited about his Valentine’s Day surprise. His enthusiasm made me want to make it an even more special time.
But when it came time to use the Tenga Flip…it didn’t quite work out.
In my defense it looks like a traffic light. As soon as I ‘put it on’ his erect penis, I started to giggle at the sight (I’ll let you come up with your own visual). Then I started pushing the three different buttons to create the vacuum effect (which is a fantastic feature) and the Tenga started making all sorts of squelching noises. Sort of like really loud slurping. My giggles turned into full on laughter.
Needless to say, my husband found it really hard to stay hard while I was laughing my head off. So we went to plan “B” and had regular sex which was really quite fun.
Will leave the Tenga Flip for him to use on his own because it is a great male toy.
Husband’s Rating on Tenga Flip
He gives two ratings: 7.5/ 10 for a single male masturbation toy. He loves how it is engineered and how the inside feels incredibly realistic. He likes how it is easy to use and clean. 5/10 for using as a couple’s toy (to be fair, maybe next time I wouldn’t be laughing so hard and it could be something we could use together.)
If you want to read this blog series from the start, click here.