What Men Think About During Sex

Dr. Ian Kerner discusses what men want from his partner during sex.

What do men want?
Well, unfortunately this is not a rom-com and the answer does not lie within a bottle of wine and Mel Gibson. What I can tell you is I may not know exactly what they want but I do know what they’re thinking--specifically during sex. Let me be clear that my sources are varied.

But it’s really this simple: What guys are thinking about during sex is, well, sex. Don’t make it complicated or get it twisted. Check out my list of what I found some guys think about during sex.

How To Share Fantasies With Your Partner
Asking For What You Want In Bed

YES! I am so having SEX right now!
Elated with the feeling of penetration, or the idea that they actually might get a chance to rock n’ romp, guys usually are living purely in the present. Most men like to stay in the moment and enjoy their intimate experiences. Sex to many men is a release of their day, so the last thing they’re thinking about is paying the bills or did I run my bedtime bath.

Can I put this here?
Some of the results of my field research informed me that there are many guys out there who are focused on giving their partner ultimate pleasure.

Some less experienced men may find that sex can be confusing, especially because women’s arousal patterns are much more complex. Is this working? Does she look like she’s having a good time? Do you think they’ll mind if I do this…?

As men age and gain more experience, they also gain more confidence in between the sheets and sex becomes less intimidating. Men can then spend more time focusing on the pleasure piece rather than the “am I doing it right” piece.

As previously mentioned, while some men are knocking boots they like to remain in the present and focus on the main goal--their orgasm. So, while you may be lying back and thinking does this angle make my butt look big, most of the time your guy is thinking “I am the luckiest guy in the world right now” or “boobs are awesome”.

While you may be worried that as a partner you have an “obligation to perform”, this is where using fantasy plays a huge role in any hot and heavy hook-up. Guys are great at it! Fantasizing is actually healthy and everybody does it--or should. So, while you might be stressing that you missed a patch of hair behind your ankle, take a cue from the guys and put a little sexy thought into it.

When can I do this again?
Sometimes when guys are having sex, or right after, they’re thinking about how to get more sex (shocking). It’s really that simple. By taking a moment to quickly analyze what they did right to get there, they create a game plan to do it again.

By sticking to it, their chances of success, in their minds, may increase. This is why cheesy pick-up lines and douche-baggery exist in the dating world, unfortunately. Somewhere, at some point, the game plan may have worked thus perpetuating the use of really bad pick-up lines and not-so-sexy shams.

Either way, sometimes it really is all about the honey pot--so if you’re on the prowl be aware that you’re not the only one on the hunt tonight.

About The Author

Carlen costa
Dr. Carlen Costa
Dr. Carlen Costa is a certified Sexologist, speaker, blogger, TV and radio personality, which includes resident Sexologist of The Love Shop, 103.9 Proud FM on the Mike Chalut show and Host of Sexy Living Rogers TV London. She writes an advice column for Premier Life along with other online and print publications. Visit her website DrCarlen.com, follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
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