You really need to ask yourself: is it really a matter of you and your partner having different libidos or is “mismatched libidos” a convenient diagnosis to a deeper relationship issue?

First of all, what is libido? Sigmund Freud was the fellow who coined the term given to mean sexual drive. Freud believed that the sexual drive is as natural as hunger and libido manifests its influence as early as birth.

I agree that every person has a sexual drive. What I am not so certain about is this very common misnomer that couple’s have mismatched libidos.

Instead I believe it to a question of: (1) poor communication; (2) the natural ebb and flow of people’s life; (3) unexpressed anger/ stress/ frustration that manifests in passive-aggressive no-sex punisment; (4) not putting enough time or energy into the relationship.