Question #1

What, in your expert opinion, do you think the biggest mood killers out there are? For women? For men? Can you recommend some mood enhancers?

Dr. Trina’s Response: 

Three things:
(1) Not enough time. People do not have enough time for anything else but quickie-sex. Quickie-sex once-in-a-while is great. Unfortunately, if couples get into that habit, they lose their sense of connection and cannot bond.

(2) Thinking sex is only about genital stimulation and penis/ vagina intercourse. Sex is so much more than this. Couples lose interest quickly because their sexual repertoire is limited and becomes stale. There are tons of things that couples can do. However, they must be comfortable with trying new things and open enough to want the education.

(3) Forgetting to (non-sexually) touch each other—not cuddle (although cuddling is wonderful). Touch is paramount to keeping connected to people. Busy couples start to associate any kind of touching with their partner wanting sex.

Mood enhancers? Get out of a quickie-sex routine and get educated. (I don’t mean to be trite but I unfortunately don’t have any “just add water” solutions).

Question #2 

If you had to choose one piece of advice to give people on the hunt for “fulfilling” sex, what would it be? Please elaborate.

Dr. Trina’s Response: 

This is my mantra: Sex is a habit. People believe that if you really like or love someone the sex will spontaneously happen. Sex is like brushing your teeth, or going to the gym, etc. It is a habit couples need to incorporate into their lifestyle. If they wait for things to “just happen by magic”, it won’t.

It takes some time to get into a new routine; I like to call it a sexual rhythm. Like taking on an exercise regime, people need to think ahead to when in their week sex is a “good time”. Sometimes a person doesn’t feel like going to the gym and yet when they do, almost always they feel better: same with sex. Sometimes people just have to push themselves forward and “just do it”.

Sex is like anything else in life: the more energy you put into it, the more you will get out of it. If couples are unhappy with their sexual circumstance, they need to put more proactive energy and effort into it.

Question #3

In your estimation, what is the sexiest adult movie out there for couples? Why have you chosen this movie? What distinguishes it?

Dr. Trina’s Response: 

Tough question. Especially when you consider Hollywood movies and all other types of moves are so very different. However, in the world of porn…

I can tell you all the women I know LOVE gay male porn. It is very physical and I find that I learn a lot of great techniques from the men. Unfortunately, many men do not feel comfortable with gay porn…if they were smart, they would watch it with their gals because it makes women horny (okay, so you can’t use the word horny BUT that is the best way to describe it).

Question #4

Tell us about the latest and greatest sex toy on the market.

Dr. Trina’s Response: 

I used to sell sex toys at home parties and had three consistent sellers. While I was in San Francisco, I went to Good Vibrations (a famous, sex-positive store catering to women) and asked what their best sellers were. Funny enough, their best sellers were the same as mine.

(1) Hatachi Magic Wand–All hail the supreme vibrators of vibrators. It looks intimidating because it is 12 inches long with a tennis ball like head. The head gives wonderful stimulating, the rest is a handle.

(2) The Rabbit–This is a great vibrator. It is a dual-action vibe: a twirling shaft for vaginal penetration and a clit stimulator. The two parts move independent. The shaft has a rotating base to stimulate the nerve endings of the vaginal entrance (the bottom third of the vaginal canal has all the nerve endings…after that it is a veritable nerveless wasteland). A tree-branch like arm juts from the bottom of the vibrator and stimulates the inner-lips and the “rabbit nose” stimulates the clitoris. Absolute heaven.

(3) The G-Spot Stimulator–”Nubby G” The G-spot response to firm pressure and the Nubby G’s pudginess allows for a wide area of massage like pressure. Also, it is easier to have a G-Spot orgasm (at least the first time) with a vibrator as opposed to finger stimulation.

(4) The latest and greatest toy on the market place? The Audi-Oh. It accepts direct audio input from devices such as portable CD and MP3 players, home audio systems, musical instruments and personal computers. When not directly plugged into an external device, the Audi-Oh can also pick up sounds (like moaning, etc.). It only works with vibrators that have a jack. Imagine…orgasming to music…I LOVE it.

Question #5

What would I consider Canada’s best kept sexual secret?

Dr. Trina’s Response: 

Well…Swinging is HUGE in Canada and in the U.S. Many people want to bring a new dynamic into their relationship and (if consensual) swinging provides a couple with new options.

In fact, many readers probably know at least one person that swings. However, because it is so negatively regarded, people keep their swinging habits to themselves.