Question 

I love co-sleeping with our toddler, but my mate finds it’s a real turn-off romantically to share a bed. Is there any way to compromise?

Dr. Trina’s Response: 

There’s always a way to compromise. Two things you can do in your situation:

(1) Negotiate. A key point in negotiation is what you are will to negotiate and what you are not willing to negotiate. For example: you maybe willing to negotiate that some nights are kid-free; however, it is non-negotiable to never have your toddler sleep with the two of you.

The reason why it is called ‘negotiation’ is both of you have to listen to the others opinion, walk a mile in their shoes and then come to the best choice for you as a couple. The minute it turns into a right-fight or me versus you, it is no longer a negotiation.

Negation Idea: Have the weekend as a kid-free zone in your bedroom. And/ or have your child only sleep in your bed on weekends. Either way, both you and your husband get the best of both worlds.

(2) Schedule sex. The best thing you two can do it schedule your sex. Yes, yes, I know, how unspontaneous and unromantic. But if your bedroom has become a take a number to get into bed, you have to make sure it is free and clear of any kids.

There are many ways to compromise. Just remember to keep on open mind.