No doubt about it. Sex is a hot-button topic for many couples. 

When I ask couples “Is all the fighting really worth it?”, they immediately answer with, “Of course not!” Yet these same people keep going round the same frustration circles.

What started this musing? I recently visited my financial advisor to discuss year end taxes. While there, he took me through a program to show the type of retirement I will have according to my accumulation of savings.  To help his calculations he plunked in the number 2055 as the year of my death.  It really hit me that if all goes well I have less than fifty years left on this earth.  As with most people who suddenly realize their mortality, I went straight into navel-gazing mode.

Have you ever considered how much time you have left? With the time you have left, do you really want to spend the majority of it in angst about your sex life? If not, why not do something about it?

Sexuality is one of the few things that can bring people peace, contentment and joy. 

One of my biggest frustrations is when couples give me the ”ya’ buts” after I give them helpful suggestions around their personal issue.  Usually my suggestions include looking at their relationship as it could be instead of focussing on how it is not working. That’s when these couples (who say they really don’t want to fight over their sex life) respond to me with, “Ya’ but if you knew my situation”, “Ya’ but if you knew my significant other”, and so on. Makes me wonder why I waste my breath.

Stephen Covey author or 7 Habits of Highly Effective People maintains that people are not judged by their intentions but rather by their actions.  When it comes to your sex life are you walking your talk?  Or are you like most people who say they are unhappy with their sex life, it’s causing ruin in their relationship and yet are doing nothing about it?

My friends, you either want to create a new sexuality for yourself, your partnership and your life, or you do not.  The only thing that is stopping you is you.