Being naked in front of people.  It is our most natural state and yet many people are repelled by the sight of naked person (maybe even themselves).  Anthropologists and historians can site hundreds of years proof why we are so uptight around our nakedness.  Really, it all came to a head in Victorian times when even table legs were covered because the sight of them might be considered sexual.

Saying my family is extremely modest is an understatement.  I remember bringing a friend home when I was a teenager.  My father was in the back yard with nothing on but a pair of long shorts.  I was so mortified to see my father that in one movement I redirected us to her house.  Why?  My father only ever wore shirts, long pants and wool socks-regardless of season or temperature.  I had never seen him that unclothed before.

My step-mom tells a funny story on how she could not make herself go to a nudist wedding of some good friends.  It is not that she disagreed with the couple’s nudity.  It is that my step-mom is 5′ 2″ and the groom is 6′ 4″; she was worried that he might ask her to waltz at the reception.

My class mates at graduate school felt comfortable with clothing optional classes.  I will never forget the first time my entire class got naked (except for me) for an exercise.  That was a few years back and yet even today I am confronted about being naked in front of other people.  Walking around my house (someone might see through the crack where the blind isn’t quite covering up), or at the gym (I can take a shower at home).

I believe most families have some degree of modesty.  Sometimes being overly modest can translate into being ashamed about our bodies.  For example, when some people see a nursing mother in public, they shake their heads in embarrassment because they saw a hint of the woman’s breast.

Or I know many people who spend a lot of time, attention, and money covering up what they do not like about their bodies.  As soon as I hit 17, the cellulite on the back of my legs kept me out of bathing suits. Too many people want to cover up and hide their imperfections.  Looking at themselves in a full length mirror is not an option.

While attending school lectures, I was always confronted with how uncomfortable I was with my nudity.  My classmates will, and do drop their clothes at a moments notice.  To them, being nude is a very natural part of living.  Even now, I am both horrified and in awe of those people who are comfortable being naked in front of anyone who is in the room.

I have read many books on how to help people enjoy their sexuality.  Invariably, the books start with having the reader look at their nude body in a full-length mirror.  Say out loud the things they like or dislike about their body.  Caress their naked body.  Look at their genitals up close.  At first I thought the authors must be from outer space.  Then I realized that in order to totally enjoy a sexual experience, the person must first be okay with them self.

Here are some outer space questions for you.  Have you ever looked, really looked at yourself naked in a full-length mirror?  Have you noted the things you like and dislike about your body?  Have you ever taken the time to feel all the parts of your body?  If no, are the feelings of modesty getting in the way of you fully expressing yourself while having sexual encounters?

Truly sexy is the person who is not self-conscious about their body, who only concentrates on the pleasure it can bring.  Part of having a healthy sex life is having a good body image.  To be okay when things are jiggling or not hanging where they should be.  Feeling good about your body does not mean that you need to have a figure from a magazine.  It is accepting who you are and loving especially the trouble areas.