This morning I did both an TV interview on City TVs Breakfast Television and a podcast with Hitchmag.com on the effects aging has on a person’s sexuality.

Here are some ideas that were discussed.

What are the myths when in comes to sex in your 60s?
There aer two big myths come to mind when speaking about sex after 60.
The first is that people over 70 don’t have sex. Even the thought of two eighty years old getting it on is enough to make people squirm. But many over eighties continue to have a great sex life.
The second myth has been perpetuated by the baby boomers who revolutionised the way we see sex and aging. They have made sex after 50, well, sexy. Problem becomes that many baby boomers expect that at 60, 70 or even 80 their sexual responses, sexiness and sexual prowess should be on par as when they were in their 20s and 30s.

What happens to the body physically? For men? For women?
A few things. First, as we age the body breaks down. As it breaks down, people need to take medication to make their bodies better. With that medication is the potential for negative effects on the person’s libido/ sexuality.
Second, the skin thickens as we age–that includes the genital areas. Being stimulated to orgasm becomes more difficult and the intensity of the orgasm is lessened. Many women need to bring in a vibrator to even achieve a clitoral orgasm.
From the age of 45 men’s testosterone and women’s estrogen start to decrease. This leaves men with less of a sex drive, feeling at odds with their sexuality. Women, typically, begin peri-menopause where their estrogen levels are eratic causing havoc on their enjoyment of intercourse.

How does menopause affect sex drive?
When a woman has reached menopause (she hasn’t had a menstrual period for over a year) her estrogen is all but depleted. Estrogen is what helps her to have a “juicy” vagina, faciliatating enjoyable intercourse. As well, the lining of her vaginal wall thins and her vaginal canal shortens.
Therefore, intercourse can potentially be uncomfortable to painful for the woman.
However, there are many alternatives to help her not have this discomfort. Speaking to a family physician of holistic doctor is the best first step. There is a ton of good information on how to work with this.
If nothing is done to help her situation, however, her sex drive/ desire will be affected.

What are your thoughts on Viagra?
Viagra is a good tool, in the right situation. Unfortunately, it has become a quick fix and solution to every erectile problem. That is, if all you have is a hammer then every solution will be a viagra-nail.
Being able to have an erection can be a HUGE physcological boost for a man. However, good sex is built on so much more than hydraulics. Viagra is not the be all, end all solution and should be one of many tools used to recraft a sex life.

What is your advice for keeping things interesting?
The over 60 group needs to understand that they are moving into a new phase of their sexuality. New sex rules must be learned. As with anything new, there will be change, adjustment, and negotiation. The good news? This time of life can be the most rewarding time sexually in a person’s life.
To do this, try not to focus on the few things that might not be like they used to be. Instead focus on the thousand or more things that you CAN do in the bedroom.
For example do not waste your time on this: after 60, men’s erections aren’t as rock hard as they were at 20; women might not enjoy the intercourse part of sex as much.
Instead focus on the sensual, erotic side of sex. Taking your time pleasuring each other. Tossing all inibitions out the window and bathing in the pure hedonistic aspect of your sexual pleasure. Let intercourse becomes a secondary component to your sexual interactions.
Need some inspiration? Buy Joani Blank’s amazing book called: Still Doing It: Women and Men Over 60 Write about Their Sexuality. The stories are hot, hot, hot. Makes you want to be over 60.