Dear Dr. Brian,
I’ve got myself into this sex routine with my boyfriend. I’ve been faking orgasms and I don’t know how to stop. Can he tell I’m faking? Do I just tell him? How do I tell him?
Dear Faking It,
Even though Jenna Jameson would love to teach all you women how to make love like a porn star, it probably isn’t a very good idea.
You see, porn stars fake it too. In fact, almost all of it is just acting. And it isn’t just blonde-haired, big boobed, starlets masking grunts and groans. Studies show that about 55% of women occasionally fake orgasms, while 75% of you girls have put on the uh-oh-ah act at least once in your life.
So Faking It, you’ve got yourself into a bit of a pickle. When you ‘act’ like a porn star you get lost in your (act)ions and it’s pretty tough to orgasm.
Your brain is your biggest sex organ. If you’re constantly trying to up the sex-scream- ante you’ll have a hard time attaining the big O. Further, you lose touch with your erogenous zones and grow disconnected from your sexuality.
Can he tell? Maybe not. Many guys are too interested in reaching orgasm to be concerned about yours. However, I’m just about to bust all you fakers.
Here’s how you tell if your girlfriend is having pretend sex on your behalf. When a woman has an orgasm she has contractions every 0.8th of a second that can be felt in her vaginal canal and rectum. A woman typically orgasms between thirteen to fifty-one seconds. That should give you enough time to feel for true sex contractions.
And FYI, the main problem with pretending to have earth-shattering orgasms is that eventually (at least if you ever want to have one again) you have to tell him.
And you do have to tell him. Most guys will take this personally, but it’s best to be honest. If he’s not great in bed, break it to him gently. Believe it or not, most guys don’t know much about a woman’s erogenous zones.
If your partner isn’t doing things right you’ll just have to TELL him what you like. And, if you can’t tell him, SHOW him. Guide his hands over your hot spots and teach him exactly what makes you purr.
Lastly FI, it is important to know that people put so much pressure on themselves to perform in bed, that their bedroom antics stop them from having great sex.
Stop faking, stop focusing on having orgasms, and just enjoy the pleasurable sensations your body is feeling. You’ll orgasm a whole lot easier that way.
Best regards, Dr. Brian Parker from ForeverPleasure.com