Recently The Today Show did a segment on the book Fifty Shades of Grey by E. L. James. The interview first showed a group of ‘suburban moms’ reading, enjoying and feeling more sexual because of this book; yet the interview’s focus was how it is degrading to women. Watch video.
How do you explain to people who don’t believe fantasy is a good thing that a book about BDSM fantasy is an okay read? Not easy. But this interview, in my opinion, is everything that is ‘wrong’ with how our society acts and reacts to things that are outside the heterosexual-monogamous sex box.
And they brought in some heavy hitters to discuss this book. A clip of Dr. Laura Berman came on first and she explained that women do want and like the ‘bodice ripping’ type of fantasy.
Back in The Today studio, Host Savannah Gunthrie turned to her guest and wanted validation that the novel is “extremely disturbing” and that it is, “quite frankly, violence against women”.
First she asked Dr. Logan Levkoff who disagreed with Savannah that the book was ‘disturbing’ and then went on to talk about how fantasy and erotica are healthy. Not getting the response she wanted, Savannah then turned her attention to Dr. Drew Pinsky who was also “disturbed” and felt this novel, “went beyond fantasy and into actual violence against women.”
On the heels of this interview, Dr. Drew appeared on HLN with his wife—who loved the book—and brought out the fancy technical word, “pathology” to describe the sexual experience in this book. Pulease!
I just can’t understand why after having a long-running radio program and many TV shows on the topic of sex, Dr. Drew is so completely sex-negative. The only thing I can surmise is that he is pandering to the media, because the average American still believes this type of thing is morally wrong. It’s truly a shame the way he’s selling out to make a buck. Watch Canada.com video.
Now don’t get me wrong, this type of read isn’t for everyone. From the Amazon.com reviews, it’s clear that readers either love Fifty Shades of Grey or they hate it. And it probably has to do with the book being based in the world of BDSM (bondage discipline sado masochism).
What I think is interesting is how the American press is vilifying this type of female fantasy—again. In 1973 Nancy Friday gathered women’s fantasies and published My Secret Garden. Many of these average gal’s fantasies were about being dominated—just like Anastasia.
Similar to Fifty Shades of Grey there was a big outrage by the press saying it was ‘harmful’ to women.
Over 250,000 (and counting) of women have bought this book showing that some women really love this type of fantasy. It turns them on and makes them feel sexy and sexual.
Being titillated by erotica is as natural as breathing, and an incredibly easy way to get turned on.
If Fifty Shades of Grey doesn’t appeal to you, please don’t give up on erotica. This book may not be your thing, but there are a lot of other story lines that will appeal to you. Click here to read a hot little something, by Richard K. Monroe. (Here’s a second story if you liked that!)
And for the sake of women’s sexual emancipation world wide—sorry to be dramatic, but I feel that strongly—simply ignore the media and Dr. Drew when they tell you that it is harmful. It’s not.
You reading erotica and being sexually titillated is good…VERY good.
Dr. Trina Read is a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator. She is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Sign up for your free monthly newsletter filled with expert videos, articles, blogs and podcasts at Best Sex Tips Ever.com. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook