Males with high voices? Samuel “Screech” Powers. Not so sexy.

Some fast facts about men with attractive voices (most often deep and husky):
- men with attractive voices have attractive faces
- men with attractive voices have higher numbers of sexual partners
- women’s preference for masculine voices correlates with their preference for masculine faces
- when women are at their most fertile, they prefer very masculine voices
- when assessing short-term partners, women prefer those with masculine voices

But those deep bass voices might not have the best sperm.

Say what? Well it goes a bit like this…

Humans have a limited amount of resources to invest into mate attracting. That is, the male with the sexy deep voice has used up all his resources to ‘buy’ that sexy voice, leaving himself fewer resources to buy good sperm-making skills.

Compare that guy to the male who decided to pass on the masculine voice investment portfolio and instead invested most of his resources into his sperm-making portfolio.

There is some cool animal model research to support this. Take the generic field cricket, for example. The male cricket who does a lot of showboating and makes intense acoustic sounds to attract mates has lower sperm quality vs. his ghetto cricket counterpart who just makes do with average acoustics.

So how do we know that deep voices may be related to lower sperm quality? Well we get men to masturbate and collect their sperm. Obviously.

And how do we measure sperm quality? With Semen Analysis software. Obviously.

The sperm is evaluated based on 7 motility parameters: (Don’t you love the shit that sex researchers come up with?)
(1) average path velocity
(2) straight line velocity
(3) velocity along the sperm cells point-to-point track
(4) lateral amplitude of sperm head movement
(5) frequency with which the sperm head crosses the average sperm path
(6) straightness of the sperm’s path
(7) linearity of the sperm’s path

And how do we know what a masculine or attractive voice sounds like? We get heterosexual females to come in and rate the mens’ recorded vowel sounds. Obviously.

But not “u”. When people pronounce “u”–they intonate downward so we ignore that vowel. Obviously.

Wtf? Ok, whatever…

So in this study, 54 Australian men (aged 18-32) were asked to refrain from sexual activity for a minimum of 48hrs before sperm ‘collection’. The men were supplied with 4 sexually explicit images and asked to masturbate to these 4 pictures. They were instructed to ejaculate into a vial which they deliver to the laboratory within 1 hour of collection.

Survey says? Well, not really a survey, work with me….Men with low pitched voices are rated as more attractive (the women never saw a picture of these dudes) versus voices that were more high pitched.

Masculine voices are rated as more attractive than less masculine voices. Men with attractive voices had lower sperm concentrations vs males with less attractive voices.

So moral of the story….Do sperm analysis of your male partners. Pick less attractive males if creating offspring is an important legacy you want to leave behind.

If a condom breaks during sex, make sure it’s with an attractive male since his Pokémon (pokey, man) sperm will have less chance of finding eggs.

Other Blogs by Jocelyn Wentland
Would You Date a Bisexual?
Casual Sex is Now the Norm
Women (and Men) Stop Faking Orgasm
Top Ten Reasons for Friends with Benefits

Jocelyn Wentland is a Sex Researcher, PhD student at the University of Ottawa. You will find her blogs are sexual, risqué (she likes to push the envelope), potentially offending, fun, but most of all, real. Read more of Jocelyn’s blog at SexResearchandTheCity.com and follow her on Twitter.

As such he decided the best compromise was to buy a perfectly proportioned blow up doll. Problem was it was going to cost him $10,000 USD plus. He had been saving from his two waitering jobs and had almost come up with the entire amount. He was eagerly anticipating when he would finally be able to have his perfect woman.

What I found interesting was my colleague’s reaction. She is in the business of selling sex paraphernalia and yet she was mildly disgusted with this man’s intentions. From her reaction, I assumed he was some overt pervert let loose in Vancouver.

As fate would have it, the next morning this man was my waiter. To my surprise he was extremely courteous and polite; in fact, he was the epitome of professionalism. As I covertly watched him under lowered lashes I could tell he treated his fellow female staff with the same level of respect.

Fetishes are definitely something people don’t understand and therefore label as deviant. Because these people don’t tow the what-is-socially-acceptable-for-sexual-behavior-line (i.e. heterosexual monogamous sex) they are automatically labeled as freaks. It is my experience that, generally, these people are just the opposite.

Some people have certain proclivities that make them sexually aroused—like BDSM, feet, or latex, or blow up dolls. So what? As long as they are safe, sane and consensual with what they are doing, then there should be no reason to judge that person. But yet we still do—even people in the sex industry who deal with this all the time are judging.

You (yes you) mingle with fetish people on a daily basis. It’s only when you find out what they are up to behind closed doors that things get weird for you (yes you).

I appreciate complete sexual tolerance will never be something I will see in my lifetime. Ironic as people feel they are liberal enough when it comes to sex.

Read other related blog posts
Would you date a bisexual?
Are open relationships more popular?
Casual Sex is now the norm
Trip to dentist a sexy fetish
Female friendly porn

Dr. Trina Read is a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator. Sign up for your free monthly newsletter filled with expert videos, articles, blogs and podcasts at Best Sex Tips Ever.com. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook

However, in a recent study I conducted at the University of New Brunswick (UNB), it appears as though men may be just as hard-wired for romance as women (click here to read about my study in the paper).

My study assessed implicit attitudes toward sex and romance among 182 UNB students – 68 men and 114 women. Implicit attitudes are attitudes that exist just below awareness. They are the attitudes that people hold that they are not necessarily aware of. In order to capture these attitudes, the participants administered a computer test called the Implicit Association Test (IAT). The IAT is designed to measure reaction speed in order to assess implicit attitudes. In doing so, participants were instructed to categorize both sexual (pornographic) and romantic (e.g., couple strolling along a beach, a picnic, or a romantic dinner) images to pleasant and unpleasant categories.

The quicker the sexual and romantic images were paired to a particular category the stronger the association between the two. For example, if a participant can more quickly categorize sexual with pleasant and romantic with unpleasant, it can be posited he/she has an automatic preference for sexual over romantic images.

Contrary to what many of you may assume, my research indicated that BOTH men and women shared an implicit preference for romance over sex. Meaning that men and women automatically associated the romantic images to the pleasant category quicker than they did the sexual images. It is important to note, that we DID find a gender difference. In particular, we found that women preferred romantic images more so than did men, however, the surprising result still is that they BOTH preferred romance over sex!

Although my results may have come as quite a shock to you, it is not completely unheard of in the research world. In fact, several studies have indicated that men may be just as romantic as women if not MORE. Specifically, the latest findings by psychologist Marissa Harrison (2011), from Pennsylvania State University in the US, determined that men fall in love quicker and take longer to fall out of love when compared to women. In fact, it was found that men were three times more likely to declare their love before women when involved in a heterosexual relationship.

So, the next time you are deciding what movie to catch on a first date, a romantic comedy may be just as appealing to your man as it is to you!

Ashley Thompson is a PhD student at the University of New Brunswick in experimental and applied psychology with research interests in sexuality and attraction. Ashley completed her undergraduate degree at University of Wisconsin at River Falls in psychology. She is originally from Minneapolis, Minnesota and has moved to Canada for her graduate pursuits. Find out more at Turned-On.net.

Faking orgasm . Or pretending orgasm, as researchers like to call it this day. Dress it up however you like. I don’t get it.

I’ve said before that I’m no mathemagician but my parents taught me that 2 wrongs don’t make a right. So how does bad sex + rewarding bad behaviour = a good sexy time?

According to research, sometimes women just know they won’t orgasm so for them it’s better to fake one rather than prolong sex….Or maybe this is a casual partner and the woman doesn’t want to have to explain that they won’t orgasm….Or maybe orgasm isn’t the point of sex for the woman (but if orgasm isn’t the point, then why exactly are you faking an orgasm?). By the way…these are the reasons that both men AND women report for ‘pretending’ orgasm.

That’s right. Men pretend, too. We have lots of research on women and pretending, but not much for men. In general, 55-65% of women report having ever faked an orgasm.

Men’s rates? 25%! Yes, 25%.

What’s the best way to pretend an orgasm? Well if you are a woman, you’re likely to moan, moan loud, and breathe both fast and loud. If you are a man, you’re likely to thrust fast and thrust hard (Even better if Daft Punk Harder Better Faster Stronger is playing in the background). As for the condom? Best to dispose of that asap.

Your thrust is my moan (well not mine, because I don’t fake it).

And what about reasons for faking the Big O? The top reasons for men include orgasm was unlikely (perhaps one too many Jager Bombs, buddy?) and that they simply wanted the sex to end (reasons like not finding their partner that attractive mid-sex).

Top reasons for women: avoiding negative consequences like hurting their partner’s feelings.

Call me crazy, but I just feel that if you and said partner are sticking items into each other’s orifices (ear, belly button, mouth, vagina, anus) this warrants a “I’m not going to orgasm like this, kitten” [you can insert whichever pet name you like here] comment.

Now, statistically speaking, I know I have faked it. Buy I really can’t think of the last time I faked it nor any memorable times when I did fake it. And no, this is not some reflection of 100% stellar sexual partners.

If we turn the tables for a second…For me, the pride from making someone cum is a bit of a reward (stop yelling at me, I know orgasms aren’t always the whole point, but I think orgasm’ing is a worthwhile goal, no?) and I’m not just gonna pass out that reward like cheap Halloween candy if it’s not happenin’ for me.

If I found out that my partner’s ‘orgasm’ was just theatrics, I’d be pissed. But I guess, 1 out of 4 of my partners technically could have faked it, right? Perhaps I am a mathemagician after all…

My other issue with faking it has to do with the whole notion of perpetuating bad behaviour. So let’s break this down….

Dick (this pun wasn’t even on purpose) and Jane have sex. Jane fakes mind-blowing orgasms.

Result: Dick thinks he is amazing in bed and takes his tricks on tour.

Dick and Mary have sex. Dick pulls out (no, not that kind of pulling out) what he thinks are his tried and true mind-blowing orgasm tricks.

Alternate endings:
1. Mary is the Hopes and Dreams Crusher and tells Dick that those moves don’t work for all women. Dick changes his bags of trick. Mary experiences said mind-blowing orgasm(s).
2. Mary fakes it, their sex is mediocre at best, and Dick carries on thinking that he’s da bomb in bed.

If you were Dick’s next partner, wouldn’t you give Mary a fist pound for giving Dick some better tips, tricks, and treats that he brought to your bedroom?

Help a Dick out! (So my plea to women: on behalf of all future women that may have sex with your little friend: stop faking it.)

Jocelyn Wentland is a Sex Researcher, PhD student at the University of Ottawa. You will find her blogs are sexual, risqué (she likes to push the envelope), potentially offending, fun, but most of all, real. Read more of Jocelyn’s blog at Sex Research and The City.com

The Breakdown
Size by Colour Range: From the largest, which is dark green 16.10-17.93cm (6.3-7.1 inches) to the smallest, which is dark red 9.66-11.67cm (3.8-4.6 inches).

The Truth
According to a study done in 1996 by urologists at San Francisco General Hospital: There is no correlation between the length of a man’s penis when flaccid and the same penis when erect.

The average penis is between 4-6 inches in length, and according to a common medical rule of thumb, anything within two standard deviations of the mean is ‘normal’.

In vaginal penetration, the dimensions of the penis are almost irrelevant, because the elasticity of the vaginal wall makes it a “one-size-fits-all” organ and in anal and oral penetration, a small penis may actually be an advantage.

In general, the significance of penis size lies only in the mind….

Dr. Teesha Morgan‘s approach to helping both couples and individuals achieve sexual fulfillment and relationship satisfaction, has taken many forms and produced incredible results. She has devoted her time to her Sex Therapy and Couples Counselling Practice, nation wide public speaking events, sexual education workshops, and televised campaigns aimed at increasing intimacy. Dr. Teesha is also a well known magazine columnist, featured writer in numerous newspapers, and has made appearances on many television and radio shows across Canada. For more information on Dr. Teesha you can visit her Sex Therapy website at TeeshaMorgan.com

I suppose that I can be ok with this however many women have taken it that I’m not attracted to them and has also hurt my chances at developing something more long term. I am curious to know your thoughts on this issue.
Best regards, Richard

Dear Richard,
When it comes to having occasional difficulties ejaculating during sexual intercourse, you’re certainly not alone. Both men and women experience difficulty with orgasm for myriad reasons including the reasons you listed in your note. Let me go through a few of those.

Circumcision can make you less sensitive, however if you’re not having problems with masturbation then I’d say things are still working pretty well. In other words, the ‘problem’ is likely more psychological rather than physical. I’m curious, have you always had some difficulty with ejaculation with a partner or is this something new? Or is it something that you seem to just be experiencing during the ‘first time’ with a new partner? If it’s the former – it’s worth reflecting on what changes have been happening in your life that could be impacting you (i.e. stress, medication, depression, etc). If it’s the latter, the nervousness that often comes with a new partner could definitely be a factor.

When becoming intimate with someone new, try to ignore the inner voice which can make you wonder about things like “Does she like this?”, “What if I won’t be able to ejaculate?”, “What if she thinks I don’t like her?”, etc. These things take you out of the moment and can increase sexual anxiety, leading you down a path that doesn’t lead to orgasm. Focus instead on the pleasurable sensations you’re experiencing and the way it feels to know you’re pleasing your partner.

There are also ways to make you more orgasmic with a partner. You can avoid masturbating for a few days before having sex with someone else. Also, make sure you are sufficiently aroused before intercourse (lots of foreplay, or even mutual masturbation). Heck, if you want to even watch some porn before getting together, that could work too (I wouldn’t suggest breaking out the porn to watch with your partner at this stage of the game – though once you get to know your partner better, that’s always an option too).

Alcohol can definitely contribute to difficulty with orgasm so if you’re planning a romantic evening, maybe just limit yourself to one or two glasses of wine.

To sum up – here are some tips and exercises:
• Make sure you’re feeling relaxed: try deep breathing
• Be present: Take time to focus on pleasurable sensations and don’t just jump into intercourse
• Mix It Up: Don’t be afraid to try different positions
• Watch out for inhibitors: Minimize or avoid alcohol/recreational drugs. You can also discuss with your doctor if any medication you’re taking may have side effects that could be contributing

Lastly, this is exactly the type of thing that sex therapists are trained to help people work through so if you’re interested in finding one in your area – check out Bestco.info.
I hope this helps!
Best, Cynthia

Outspoken, hip, irreverent – yet enlightening, Cynthia Loyst is a TV host, advice columnist & relationship coach who likes to ask uncomfortable questions. She’s also a certified life/relationship coach and guest expert on a variety of shows including The Marilyn Denis Show, CTV Newsnet and Etalk. Follow Cynthia on Twitter.

Dear Dr. Brian,
I’ve heard some girls like anal sex. What could they get from that? Wouldn’t that miss all their girly parts?
Anally Oblivious

Dear Anally Oblivious,
Yeah AO, most people have already heard why guys might like getting their A-Spot (prostate gland) tickled by a penis, dildo, or finger, but a lot of you have no idea why a girl might enjoy getting her anus or rectum played with.

Just like for boys, a girl’s anus has a ton of nerve endings making this area super sensitive to stimulation. A little anal massage could send your lady lover over the edge.

The rectum and vagina also share an internal wall together. And, those all important vaginal nerve endings are sometimes easier to ‘connect with’ from the back side.

A women’s G-Spot can also be stimulated from the rectum. Remember, that the G-spot is analogous to the male prostate gland, which is easily stimulated through the anus. Many women have amazing G-Spot orgasms through anal sex.

A woman can also have an anal orgasm. This is distinct and different from a clitoral, vaginal, or G-Spot orgasm. This too, makes anal sex fun for girls.

Further, when a man or woman orgasms, they have contractions that is also felt in their rectum. This whole pelvic region has lots of pleasurable zones that makes it fun.

So AO, anal sex might not be your cup of tea, but some girls totally get off on it. It’s best not to judge. Everyone has different likes and dislikes in and out of the bedroom.

Best regards, Dr. Brian Parker

Dr. Brian Parker is the creator of Embrace board game. He also is owner of ForeverPleasure.com an on-line adult store that sells the very best product.

Hi Fritz,
I’ve run into lots of people that however they learned to give oral sex early on is how they continue to do it. Even though, their partner might want it in a different way.

A good way to get her to use her hands more on you might be to ask her to show you how she would like you to get her off. That way she can communicate her needs directly to you and then you can reciprocate by showing her how you’d like it done.

Short of directing her hands during the act, another way might be to watch an erotic video that shows the same action that you’d like her to try on you and then tell her how hot you think it is and that you’d like to try it.

I would make sure she is in a comfortable position that will allow her to use her hands on you during oral sex. Sometimes this point gets over looked.

Hope that helps. Sincerely, Dr. Kat

Dr. Kat is a Clinical Sexologist Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in the field of counseling since 1994. In addition to her training in Marriage, Family and Addictions, she has extensive sexuality training. Find out more at: Dr.Kat.com

Many men (gay and straight) are exploring anal sensations. The anus has many nerve endings which feel great when stimulated. The A-spot or prostate gland is a walnut-shaped gland that contains the bulk of the fluid in ejaculate. The prostate gland is about 2 inches into the rectum at a 45 degree angle. Most men, but not all, find stimulating this area to be extremely arousing.

To read more click here.

‘Prostate Pro 5′
Positives:
• Easy-to-use hand controller with one touch, 5-speed vibrations
• Fairly inexpensive and doesn’t contain pthalates like many cheaper toys
Negatives:
• Some men will not like the sensations of the ‘spikes’ and ‘nubs’ on the toy
• Has a battery pack controller so it cannot be sterilized in boiling water
Overall Rating: 2.5/5

‘Rude Boy’
Positives:
• Dual action vibe that stimulates the prostate and perineum at the same time
• 100% medical grade silicone with a removable bullet vibe so it can be sterilized in boiling water
Negatives:
• Some men prefer a harder material to stimulate the prostate
• Vibe uses watch batteries which can burn out quickly
Overall Rating: 4/5

Dr. Brian Parker is the creator of Embrace board game. He also is owner of ForeverPleasure.com an on-line adult store that sells the very best product.

Dear Three-Way No Way,
What in the hell are you thinking? You should never compromise your feelings for your boyfriend’s fantasy. If you feel you’d rather eat glass than have a 3-way, then you just can’t go there.

Since you say it completely turns you off, I can’t see how it could turn out to be a positive experience for you, your boyfriend, or the third you two bed.

Lots of guys (and girls) have threesome fantasies, but few people are emotionally capable of seeing their partner bumping privates with someone else. Your boyfriend might say he’s okay with it, but when he witnesses your thirtieth orgasm through same-sex face he might wish he’d never gone there.

Three-Way No Way, just because your partner fantasizes about doing something does not mean you are entitled to do it. You can suggest he keep his fantasy third in his mind.

And, I would be a little concerned if you think he’d leave you if you don’t fulfill his fantasy. You might want to reevaluate how stable your relationship really is.

You should never feel compelled to go kink when you want vanilla. You need to feel safe, secure, and respected in your sexual relationship.

And Three-Way No Way, you need to voice your personal sexual boundaries to your boyfriend so he understands where you stand. He might be thinking that you’d just love to play with some gal’s girly parts.

Tell your boyfriend that you’re glad he feels comfortable enough to disclose his sexual wants and needs with you. Also tell him that right now a threesome is not something you see yourself wanting to engage in.

And remember Three-Way No Way, our sexuality is fluid. Just because you don’t want to try something today doesn’t mean that you won’t get a little more adventurous in the future.

Best regards, Dr. Brian Parker

Dr. Brian Parker is the creator of Embrace board game. He also is owner of ForeverPleasure.com an on-line adult store that sells the very best product.