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<channel>
	<title>Trina&#039;s blog &#187; Other People&#8217;s Ideas</title>
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		<title>Women Want Bromances Too</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/29/women-want-bromances-too/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/29/women-want-bromances-too/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:34:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jen Kirsch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Other People's Ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bromance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[date]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dateless]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facebook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to find a date]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I Love You Man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jason Segel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul Rudd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex tip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[texting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2430</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Welcome to the new bromance: for her. In our latter twentysomethings it’s typical for most of us to have a solid group of go-to friends. Either that or we lost em all when we got hot and heavy with our man, so it is in this age bracket that we often venture out and meet new friends. Fresh faces. Women who are more likeminded. Who don’t go as far back and who see us in a different like. The story goes similar to the script of I Love You, Man, a movie in which Paul Rudd and Jason Segel star. This film is a favourite of mine. It epitomizes the stages of getting to know someone new with similarities to how one begins dating.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You get asked out. You feel flattered. You wonder what to wear for the venue of choice; for the person who you’re going with. You wonder whether you should even consider indulging more than two drinks (and pre-arranging transportation accordingly.) You tell a friend about the upcoming plans to get their thoughts on both the person you’re about to meet up with, and of the situation as a whole. You hope they don’t lean in for a kiss – in fact you pray they don’t- and you hope they have the same attentions as you. And as the night comes and you pull up, you switch your phone on silent and walk in to see a smiling face waiting for you at the waiting area/bar/table.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Female-Bromance.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Female-Bromance.jpg" alt="" title="Female Bromance" width="200" height="300" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2428" /></a>Welcome to the new <a href="http://ideas.thenest.com/love-and-sex-advice/dealing-with-relationship-issues/articles/10-signs-your-guy-is-in-a-bromance.aspx">bromance</a>: for her. In our latter twentysomethings it’s typical for most of us to have a solid group of go-to friends. Either that or we lost &#8216;em all when we got hot and heavy with our man, so it is in this age bracket that we often venture out and meet new friends. </p>
<p>Fresh faces. Women who are more likeminded. Who don’t go as far back and who see us in a different like. The story goes similar to the script of <a href="http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1886825,00.html"><em>I Love You, Man</em></a>, a movie in which <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0748620/">Paul Rudd</a> and <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0781981/">Jason Segel </a>star. This film is a favourite of mine. It epitomizes the stages of getting to know someone new with similarities to how one begins dating.</p>
<p>Lately I’ve been asked out by a handful of women. Great, fun, beautiful women with similar interests, who frequent the same haunts as I, who run in the same sorts of circles. In the past month I’ve been on more bromance-for-her dates than I care to admit. </p>
<p>Picture: cheese plate after glass of kir royale after splitting a dessert (and another kir royale) later. Some lady dates have gone so well friendshiply that we don’t even end the date without making plans for the next one. Some end so poorly that you hope they found the connection just as off-putting so you don’t have to come up with an excuse not to see her again. These little get togethers are exciting and somewhat similar to blind dates. You hope they know you’re just looking for friendship and not love. You hope it can be a smooth encounter as opposed to one induced by silences and reaching for your glass.</p>
<p>After a bromance-for-her date you might start texting or Facebooking or using a form of communication as your choice, with the hope that your messages will go returned, that they feel the same way.</p>
<p>These dates are refreshing. At a time when we are so settled with work and a daily routine, it’s nice to bring something new into the mix. Someone new. If things don’t work out, at least you connected with someone new; at least you expanded your network. If things do work out then you profit a great friend. Be open to expanding your circle and you might be grateful for what you find and what they add to your lovely little life, lady!</p>
<p><strong>Other Jen Kirsch Blogs</strong><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/20/women-stop-misreading-your-dates/">Women Stop Misreading Your Dates</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/11/25/dealing-with-relationship-anger/">Dealing With Relationship Anger</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/11/08/toss-the-tee-and-throw-on-a-pair-of-heels/">Toss the Tee and Throw on a Pair of Heels</a></p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Jen-Kirsch.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Jen-Kirsch.jpg" alt="" title="Jen Kirsch" width="100" height="75" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2080" /></a><strong><a href="http://blondebronzedtwentysomething.wordpress.com/">Jen Kirsch</a></strong> is a relationship expert, columnist and blogger. She writes for ELLE, Canadian Living, Slice TV, Women’s Post, AOL Lifestyle, Notable.ca, ELLE Canada, Sympatico.com, The College Crush, Rebecca Eckler’s How To Raise A Boyfriend, PostCity Magazines and many more publications.  Often seeked out for her to-the-point advice, Jen offers coaching sessions to singles and couples who want some direction in the dating world. <a href="http://blondebronzedtwentysomething.wordpress.com/">Read her blog</a> and follow her on <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/BlondeBronzed">Twitter</a>.</p>
<p><a href="http://weheartit.com/">Photo Source here.</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Wife Wants Sex to Be More Exciting</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/24/wife-wants-sex-to-be-more-exciting/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/24/wife-wants-sex-to-be-more-exciting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jan 2012 16:18:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Couple's Sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr. Kat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Other People's Ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OtherExperts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boring sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couple sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[date nights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exciting sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fantasy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to have sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[married sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[open marriage]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Orgasm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[S & M]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sensuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex dates]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex play]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex psychiatrist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex psychologist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex therapist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex tip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual rut]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what are orgasms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[women sexuality]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2416</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’m a 35 year old married woman in a ten year relationship. It’s gotten to the point where is seems like I’m having the same sex all the time. My husband says he is up for trying something new but I’m not sure where to start, since he probably won’t initiate the changes. Basically, my sex life has hit a wall. How can I expand my horizons (and my husband’s).]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong><em>I’m a 35 year old married woman in a ten year relationship. It’s gotten to the point where is seems like I’m having the same sex all the time. My husband says he is up for trying something new but I’m not sure where to start, since he probably won’t initiate the changes. Basically, <a href="http://advice.eharmony.com/relationships/sex/help-our-sex-life-is-dead-boring">my sex life has hit a wall</a>. How can I expand my horizons (and my husband’s) in the New Year?</em></strong></p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Boring-Married-Sex.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Boring-Married-Sex.jpg" alt="" title="Boring Married Sex" width="237" height="212" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2411" /></a>New Year’s resolutions are great. They can be a catalyst for a lot of positive change&#8211;and they can also fizzle out within a month. I get the feeling that maybe you’d like to experiment with a few new tricks while adding some new sexual behaviors to your long term repertoire to keep things fresh. </p>
<p>You can do this by doing two things:<br />
1) Figure out where to <a href="http://drleannawolfe.com/luboundariessurvey_final.pdf">push the boundaries</a> and where to leave them<br />
2) <a href="http://www.happy-marriage-for-men.com/sexually_pleasing_a_woman.html">Do something, ANYTHING different</a>.</p>
<p>First off, don’t make the mistake of going over board too quickly. For instance, if the both of you know you want to keep things monogamous, I wouldn’t suggest you bringing a third party into bed. Or, if he knows you hate to watch yourself on video, he shouldn’t go videotaping your sex romps without you knowing. </p>
<p>However, people tend to find a lot more negotiable in their sex lives than they realized when they start to talk about it with their partners honestly. So, you might begin by planning a special night together with him and bring up the issue over a sexy dinner. I understand that you may need to initiate this first foray into the sexually explorative discussion but sex (usually, unless your masturbating by yourself) is a two way street. Part of what he needs to buy into during this discussion is his own responsibility in this relationship to turn up the heat as well. The issue is not your issue alone.</p>
<p><strong>What you’ll both need to find out is what turn’s you on at the core. </strong>What do you respond to sexually without even thinking? And don’t rule out acts that you would consider socially unacceptable&#8211;rape fantasies rank among the most common fantasies for women&#8211;obviously you’d play this one out within reason. If you can’t think of anything off hand, rent/buy some erotic videos with varying themes and see what your body (and your mind) responds to. This can be a great way for the both of you to get conscious about what gets you off and it can also be a fun way to lead to a little sex play in front of the tellie.</p>
<p><strong>Once you get a few ideas together, talk out the top one or two behaviors that you both seem most interested in.</strong> Granted, you both may find you have different erotic interests. But if you both discuss your favorites you can both figure out how far you’re willing to go to fill one another’s fantasy. An example might be that he’d love to try anal sex with you but you’re not into the idea of jumping right in to full penal/anal penetration. Why not then, buy a good lube a couple of non-intimidating anal toys to play with? Decide that you’ll initially only play on the outside of the anus and then maybe (if you’re comfortable) graduate up to finger insertion.</p>
<p>Maybe he’s a control freak but you’ve always wanted to tie him up and experiment with a little S&#038;M. Negotiate what his limits are. There are many accoutrements now that allow for &#8216;light&#8217; S&#038;M play; satiny sashes that don’t tie too tightly and soft, playful whips. Just be sure you both decide on a &#8216;safe word&#8217; that let’s you each know when you’re seriously done playing&#8211;many people like to say &#8220;no&#8221; or &#8220;don&#8217;t&#8221; as apart of the sex play. A safe word should be a word not normally used during sex&#8230;perhaps something as random as &#8220;kumquat&#8221; or &#8220;constellation&#8221;.</p>
<p>As mentioned the whole point is to do anything different. So, <strong>whether it’s even having sex in different rooms of your house or deciding to have regular sex dates&#8211;it doesn’t have to be a profound change&#8211;just a change.</strong> Some changes may stick and others may not but the point is you’re both making an effort to preserve the health of your sexual relationship. The fun part may just be in trying something new, even if it doesn’t work out. In fact, every New Year you may want to sit down with your partner and have your ritual dinner to come up with a kinky thing or two to do to keep each year as fresh as your first year together.</p>
<p><strong>Related Articles</strong><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/articles/99">Sharing Fantasies With Your Partner</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/articles/89">Top Five Ways Women Can Desire Sex</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/articles/87">Asking For What You Want in Bed</a></p>
<p><strong>Related Videos</strong><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/videos/11">How to Get Out of a Sex Rut</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/videos/21">Easiest Sex Positions for an Experienced Couple</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/videos/14">Is It Really Mismatched Libidos</a></p>
<p><strong>Related Podcasts</strong><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/podcasts/69">Exploring Sexual Fantasies</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/podcasts/60">Five Best Ways to Romance Your Valentine</a></p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/DrKat.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/DrKat.jpg" alt="" title="DrKat" width="100" height="164" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1465" /></a><strong>Dr. Kat</strong> is a Clinical Sexologist Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in the field of counseling since 1994. In addition to her training in Marriage, Family and Addictions, she has extensive sexuality training. Find out more at:<a href="http://drkat.com"> Dr.Kat.com</a></p>
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		<title>Paid Service Will Dump Your Partner</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/22/paid-service-will-dump-your-partner/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/22/paid-service-will-dump-your-partner/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 22 Jan 2012 15:13:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Other People's Ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[break up from girlfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carrie Bradshaw]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dumped by boyfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dumped by girlfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fellatio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how to have sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idump4u.com]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inspot.org]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Masturbation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Orgasm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychologist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sex and the City]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex therapist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual partner]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual psychologist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[STD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[STI]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[what are orgasms]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2391</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Getting a phone call from a complete stranger telling you your relationship is over, that's pretty cold. But what about getting an anonymous ecard informing you that you may have an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection)?!]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>In <a href="http://www.hbo.com/sex-and-the-city/index.html"><em>Sex and the City,</em></a> Carrie was dumped via a post-it note. Harsh? Yes, but nowadays, there’s worse. </p>
<p>A man by the name of Bradley Laborman, from <a href="http://idump4u.com">IDUMP4U.com</a>, is paving new ground in the break up scene by doing the dirty deed for you for a measly $10. May seem cheap, but Bradley’s getting his fair share out of the deal as he tapes his phone conversations and then posts them online for all to hear (check out the YouTube link to hear a clip).</p>
<p><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Es0TMxXKbAU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>In Bradley’s eyes, he is performing a service by delivering the exit line for you. And surprisingly, many women agree, as women are his number one clientele. So what is the main driving force for using the service? “It’s fear”, Bradley claims, “I had one guy who couldn’t do it because every time he tried to do it, he’d end up having breakup sex with her and get back together. I think a lot of them have tried a couple times to break up with the person, and it’s just not getting through to them.”</p>
<p>Okay, so getting a phone call from a complete stranger telling you your relationship is over, pretty cold. But what about getting an anonymous ecard informing you that you may have an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection)?!</p>
<p>‘Hello Sarah, I’m so sorry to inform you that you might have an STI. We had fun but now we’re done and I’m sorry to say that I ‘came’ with strings attached. Tests reveal I have herpes. Please get tested.’</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/InSpot.gif"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/InSpot.gif" alt="" title="InSpot" width="178" height="168" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2392" /></a>Anonymous egreetings can now be sent to your past sexual partner(s) explaining your current ‘situation’ down below. The program that is facilitating the ecards is called <a href="http://www.inspot.org/Home.aspx?regionid=34&#038;sitelvl=1">inSPOT</a>, a non-profit organization dedicated to developing and using Internet technologies to prevent disease transmission and enhance the sexual well-being of individuals and communities. Now I know what you’re thinking, who wants to receive an impersonal ecard telling them they might have an STI?! Well no one, of course. </p>
<p>But this program might be the best option when considering your choices. One, don’t tell any past partners and live with the guilt that you helped spread an infection (possibly life threatening or fertility affecting) to others. Two, tell them in person that you are the reason for the burning sensation between their thighs. Or three, send them an anonymous ecard with an apology and a list of all the closest STI clinics in their area.</p>
<p><a href="http://idump4u.com">IDUMP4U.com</a> and <a href="http://www.inspot.org/Home.aspx?regionid=34&#038;sitelvl=1">inSPOT </a>may be harsh in their delivery systems (I think Bradley gets a woody from delivering the bad news…. yes you do Bradley, just admit it), but don’t many adhere to the statement that all’s fair in love and war?</p>
<p>Or possibly&#8211;insert Jack Nicholson&#8211;YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Teesha1.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Teesha1.jpg" alt="" title="Teesha" width="128" height="128" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1727" /></a><strong>Dr. Teesha Morgan</strong>&#8216;s approach to helping both couples and individuals achieve sexual fulfillment and relationship satisfaction, has taken many forms and produced incredible results. She has devoted her time to her Sex Therapy and Couples Counselling Practice, nation wide public speaking events, sexual education workshops, and televised campaigns aimed at increasing intimacy. Dr. Teesha is also a well known magazine columnist, featured writer in numerous newspapers, and has made appearances on many television and radio shows across Canada. For more information on Dr. Teesha you can visit her Sex Therapy website at <a href="http://teeshamorgan.com">TeeshaMorgan.com</a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Is Your Sperm Sexy Enough?</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/15/is-your-sperm-sexy-enough/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2012/01/15/is-your-sperm-sexy-enough/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Jan 2012 15:51:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jocelyn Wentland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Men's Sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Other People's Ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OtherExperts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attracting opposite sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attractive voice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Barry White]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[condom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evolution of sperm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is your sperm sexy enough]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[male sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[male sperm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[masturbate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Screech]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[semen analysis software]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sex tip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sexual genetics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sperm]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sperm quality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sperm velocity]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2340</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Deep bass voices might not have the best sperm. So how do we know that deep voices may be related to lower sperm quality? Well we get men to masturbate and collect their sperm. And how do we measure sperm quality? With Semen Analysis software.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>Males with low voices? Sexy. </strong>Think Barry White. James Earl Jones. Don LaFontaine.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Sexy-Sperm1.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Sexy-Sperm1.jpg" alt="" title="Sexy Sperm1" width="233" height="233" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2341" /></a>Males with high voices? Samuel &#8220;Screech&#8221; Powers. Not so sexy.</p>
<p><strong>Some fast facts about men with attractive voices (most often deep and husky):</strong><br />
<em>- men with attractive voices have attractive faces<br />
- men with attractive voices have higher numbers of sexual partners<br />
- women’s preference for masculine voices correlates with their preference for masculine faces<br />
- when women are at their most fertile, they prefer very masculine voices<br />
- when assessing short-term partners, women prefer those with masculine voices</em></p>
<p><strong>But those deep bass voices might not have the best sperm.</strong></p>
<p>Say what? Well it goes a bit like this…</p>
<p>Humans have a limited amount of resources <a href="http://www.amazon.ca/Third-Chimpanzee-Evolution-Future-Animal/dp/0060845503/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&#038;ie=UTF8&#038;qid=1326641410&#038;sr=1-3">to invest into mate attracting</a>. That is, <strong>the male with the sexy deep voice has used up all his resources to &#8216;buy&#8217; that sexy voice, leaving himself fewer resources to buy good sperm-making skills.</strong></p>
<p>Compare that guy to the male who decided to pass on the masculine voice investment portfolio and instead invested most of his <a href="http://www.jstor.org/pss/2462534">resources into his sperm-making portfolio</a>.</p>
<p>There is some cool animal model research to support this. Take the generic field cricket, for example. The male cricket who does a lot of showboating and makes intense acoustic sounds to attract mates has lower sperm quality vs. his ghetto cricket counterpart who just makes do with average acoustics.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Sexy-Sperm2.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Sexy-Sperm2.jpg" alt="" title="Sexy Sperm2" width="468" height="320" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2342" /></a><strong>So how do we know that deep voices may be related to lower sperm quality? Well we get men to masturbate and collect their sperm.</strong> Obviously.</p>
<p>And how do we measure sperm quality? With Semen Analysis software. Obviously.</p>
<p><strong>The sperm is evaluated based on 7 motility parameters:</strong> (Don’t you love the shit that sex researchers come up with?)<br />
<em>(1) average path velocity<br />
(2) straight line velocity<br />
(3) velocity along the sperm cells point-to-point track<br />
(4) lateral amplitude of sperm head movement<br />
(5) frequency with which the sperm head crosses the average sperm path<br />
(6) straightness of the sperm’s path<br />
(7) linearity of the sperm’s path</em></p>
<p>And how do we know what a masculine or attractive voice sounds like? We get heterosexual females to come in and rate the mens&#8217; recorded vowel sounds. Obviously.</p>
<p>But not “u”. When people pronounce “u”&#8211;they intonate downward so we ignore that vowel. Obviously.</p>
<p>Wtf? Ok, whatever…</p>
<p>So in this study, 54 Australian men (aged 18-32) were asked to refrain from sexual activity for a minimum of 48hrs before sperm &#8216;collection&#8217;.  The men were supplied with 4 sexually explicit images and asked to masturbate to these 4 pictures. They were instructed to ejaculate into a vial which they deliver to the laboratory within 1 hour of collection.</p>
<p>Survey says? Well, not really a survey, work with me….<strong>Men with low pitched voices are rated as more attractive (the women never saw a picture of these dudes) versus voices that were more high pitched.</strong></p>
<p>Masculine voices are rated as more attractive than less masculine voices. Men with attractive voices had lower sperm concentrations vs males with less attractive voices.</p>
<p>So moral of the story….Do sperm analysis of your male partners. Pick less attractive males if creating offspring is an important legacy you want to leave behind.</p>
<p>If a condom breaks during sex, make sure it’s with an attractive male since his <a href="http://www.pokemon.com/">Pokémon </a>(pokey, man) sperm will have less chance of finding eggs.</p>
<p><strong>Other Blogs by Jocelyn Wentland</strong><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/18/would-you-date-a-bisexual/">Would You Date a Bisexual?</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/04/casual-sex-is-now-the-norm/">Casual Sex is Now the Norm</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/11/20/women-and-men-stop-faking-orgasm/">Women (and Men) Stop Faking Orgasm</a><br />
<a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/10/23/top-ten-reasons-for-friends-with-benefits-3/">Top Ten Reasons for Friends with Benefits</a></p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jocelyn-Wentland1.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jocelyn-Wentland1.jpg" alt="" title="Jocelyn Wentland" width="100" height="95" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1368" /></a><strong>Jocelyn Wentland</strong> is a Sex Researcher, PhD student at the University of Ottawa. You will find her blogs are sexual, risqué (she likes to push the envelope), potentially offending, fun, but most of all, real. Read more of Jocelyn&#8217;s blog at <a href="http://sexresearchandthecity.com/cv/">SexResearchandTheCity.com</a> and follow her on <a href="https://twitter.com/#!/JocelynWentland">Twitter</a>.</p>
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		<title>Women stop misreading your dates</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/20/women-stop-misreading-your-dates/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/20/women-stop-misreading-your-dates/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2011 12:56:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jen Kirsch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Other People's Ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bronzed blonde]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating and sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating blog]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[he's just not that into you]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[relationship advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[texting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2260</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Women are known to somewhat – how you say – 'misread' situations.  Instead of thinking "He want’s me", we think, "What does he want from me?"  We go on a date with a guy who-–at the end of the date-–doesn’t lean in for that anticipated first kiss and tell ourselves "He’s just not that into me", all whilst avoiding the fact that your dinner date lasted four (or so) hours.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>We women are known to somewhat–-how you say-–&#8217;misread&#8217; situations. When in a position or situation we tend to have an idea of what’s going on and run with that notion as we look for confirming beliefs, as opposed to seeing the full picture for what it is.  </p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/read-between-the-lines.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/read-between-the-lines.jpg" alt="" title="read-between-the-lines" width="300" height="200" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2257" /></a>Case in point: We hear from a dude we may have once crushed on in the past, seemingly out of the blue and <strong>instead of thinking &#8220;He want’s me&#8221;, we think &#8220;What does he want from me?&#8221; </strong> We go on a date with a guy who-–at the end of the date&#8211;doesn’t lean in for that anticipated first kiss and tell ourselves &#8220;He’s just not that into me&#8221;, all whilst avoiding the very clear fact that your dinner date with him lasted four (or so) hours.  </p>
<p>Or you might be single, spending all your days (and hours, and minutes) back and forth texting and emoticon sharing with another single guy, but since he never asks you out nor has he yet to initiate a plan, you assume he’s just messaging you to &#8220;Keep his options open&#8221;, as opposed to <strong>maybe seeing that he’s just trying to get to know you before he makes that bold move.</strong></p>
<p>Now I get it, it isn’t safe for us blonde, bronzed, babes to be optimistic if a situation clearly doesn’t call for it, but it is rather healthy to, not only perceive a situation in a level headed fashion, giving it the benefit of the doubt, but also be clear with our intentions and be confident enough to ask others about theirs, when feeling confused, uncertain or doubtful. </p>
<p>Raise your hand for all the times you’ve left a date, only to dial up your bestie the second you walk in the door to try to decode what x, y and z meant on the date. Intuitive though your best friend might be, she certainly is not in the head of the guy you were just with. Ride the wave.  Feel him out.  Don’t analyze but instead grasp the situation with a big picture mentality. </p>
<p><strong>If you reach a point where you generally feel confused or are aware that you might be on different pages, it’s better to read between the lines and&#8211;if you dare-–ask him to be more clear. I</strong>f only we had a legend for what all those emoticon’s and looks, and endless banter really means; if only the matters when it comes to the opposite sex were that easy.</p>
<p>From my experience, like breeds like so if you start thinking the best of situations instead of the worst, if you start expecting good things instead of the bad, you’ve already done most of the work. Reframe you dauntless darling, you.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Jen-Kirsch.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Jen-Kirsch.jpg" alt="" title="Jen Kirsch" width="100" height="75" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2080" /></a><strong><a href="http://blondebronzedtwentysomething.wordpress.com/">Jen Kirsch</a></strong> is a relationship expert, columnist and blogger. She writes for ELLE, Canadian Living, Slice TV, Women’s Post, AOL Lifestyle, Notable.ca, ELLE Canada, Sympatico.com, The College Crush, Rebecca Eckler’s How To Raise A Boyfriend, PostCity Magazines and many more publications.  Often seeked out for her to-the-point advice, Jen offers coaching sessions to singles and couples who want some direction in the dating world. <a href="http://blondebronzedtwentysomething.wordpress.com/">Read her blog</a> and follow her on <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/BlondeBronzed">Twitter</a>.</p>
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		<title>Would you date a bisexual?</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/18/would-you-date-a-bisexual/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/18/would-you-date-a-bisexual/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:48:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Jocelyn Wentland]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Other People's Ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OtherExperts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Women's Sexuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bisexual]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bisexual man]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bisexual women]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[threesome fantasy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2250</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Would you be comfortable dating a bisexual? Would you be worried that they would leave you for a same-sex individual (if you date an opposite sex person normally?) Would you care? Would you be jealous of their same-sex friends? Would you think this was a great way to access a threesome?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Would you be comfortable dating a bisexual? Would you be worried that they would leave you for a same-sex individual (if you date an opposite sex person normally?) Would you care? Would you be jealous of their same-sex friends? Would you think this was a great way to access a threesome?</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/threesome.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/threesome.jpg" alt="" title="threesome" width="281" height="425" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2251" /></a>This is some cool home-grown research being done by my lab mate Heather Armstrong at the University of Ottawa.</p>
<p>Here are some Coles Notes findings regarding people’s perceptions of dating a bisexual in a casual, dating, or committed relationships:</p>
<p><strong>For men dating a bisexual woman</strong><br />
- <em>Men feel moderate pressure to show that a man can be a sexually satisfying partner compared to a women</em>&#8211;regardless of relationships type</p>
<p>- Men show moderate levels of worry that they cannot fulfill all of their partner’s sexual needs</p>
<p>- Men aren’t very jealous in general but are more jealous about their female partner’s male friends vs her female friends</p>
<p><strong>For women dating a bisexual man</strong><br />
- Women are more likely to worry that their partner is really gay (a common myth about bisexuality in general)</p>
<p>- <em>Women are more jealous in general </em>(*sigh*) and feel more jealous about their male partner’s male friends vs his female friends</p>
<p>-  Women are more worried that their partner would cheat on them or leave them for a same-sex partner</p>
<p><strong>And what about those threesomes?</strong><br />
Well for the Bisexual Woman + Male Partner + random female = Men find the idea or fantasy of having a threesome with two women arousing and are likely to participate if given the opportunity. But….<em>even though men want to have a threesome, they don’t expect to.</em></p>
<p>AND wanting and expecting a threesome and the importance of said threesome decline as the relationship level becomes more involved.</p>
<p>As for the Bisexual Man + Female Partner + random male = Women do not want to have a threesome with their partner and another man and they worry that their male partner might want to have a threesome with her and another man.</p>
<p>Perhaps this information helps you determine if dating a bisexual is for you!</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jocelyn-Wentland1.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jocelyn-Wentland1.jpg" alt="" title="Jocelyn Wentland" width="100" height="95" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1368" /></a><strong>Jocelyn Wentland</strong> is a Sex Researcher, PhD student at the University of Ottawa. You will find her blogs are sexual, risqué (she likes to push the envelope), potentially offending, fun, but most of all, real. Read more of Jocelyn&#8217;s blog at <a href="http://sexresearchandthecity.com/cv/">Sex Research and The City.com</a></p>
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		<title>Why Chaz Bono became a man</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/16/2235/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/16/2235/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Dec 2011 15:24:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Dr. Kat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[It's a Sex Fact...]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Other People's Ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[OtherExperts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Becoming Chaz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[biological sex]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chaz Bono]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cher]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dr. Kat Vankirk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drkat.com]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[transsexual]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2235</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Chaz Bono decided he was a male and documents his sex change transformation in Becoming Chaz, a film which documents his very personal transformation from female to male–-breast removal and all. So the question is: what makes Chaz a guy?]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Chaz Bono (formally Chastity Bono), known better to some as Cher’s daughter; premiered her new documentary <em>Becoming Chaz </em>at the Sundance Film Festival this last weekend. The film documents his very personal transformation from female to male&#8211;breast removal and all. </p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Chaz.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/Chaz.jpg" alt="" title="Chaz" width="199" height="300" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-2236" /></a>More accurately it shows how Chaz aligned his external secondary sex characteristics with his internal gender identity. Say what? <strong>This sounds confusing and I know even our dear media gets it wrong much of the time </strong>(God forbid), but lets examine what these terms really mean. Or specifically, the question is what makes Chaz a guy? Here’s the breakdown. The definitions are from Wikipedia:</p>
<p><strong>Sexual Identity</strong><br />
Is a term that, like sex, has two distinctively different meanings. One describes an identity roughly based on sexual orientation, the other an identity based on sexual characteristics, which is not socially based but based on biology, a concept related to, but different from, gender identity.</p>
<p><strong>Gender Identity </strong>(otherwise known as core gender identity)<br />
The gender(s), or lack thereof, a person self-identifies as. It is not necessarily based on biological sex, either real or perceived, nor is it always based on sexual orientation. The gender identities one may identify as include male, female, both, somewhere in between (“third gender“), or neither</p>
<p><strong>Sexual Orientation</strong><br />
Describes a pattern of emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction to men, women, both genders, neither gender, or another gender.</p>
<p>OK, your head is probably spinning from these definitions. But using Chaz as an example, here’s how these definitions play out…</p>
<p>Chaz is now considered a heterosexual male—yes, transsexual externally but none the less. However, it seems to go unacknowledged that Chaz has been relating as a male to his partner for a very long time (the lovely Jennifer Elia, who he is pictured with). It’s been said that he was never really comfortable with the term lesbian because that wasn’t how he completely felt.  </p>
<p>And granted Chaz (while still Chastity), did identify as a lesbian for a period of time. He probably did so not because he really was but because he was just trying to figure himself out. After all, who wants to jump into a process of sex reassignment surgeries without doing enough self reflection? Anyway, it can be tough for someone who doesn’t fit into our boy/girl stereotypes&#8211;<em>Boys Don’t Cry</em> ring any bells? Not an easy task in our culture.</p>
<p><strong>While Chaz’s biological sex upon birth was female, his secondary sexual characteristics (how he presents physically) are now male.</strong> I won’t even get into the chromosomal issues but suffice it to say our chromosomes have something to say about our biological sex and identity. But Chaz is a guy because he identifies with being male…period.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/flaming-homo.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/flaming-homo.jpg" alt="" title="flaming homo" width="265" height="190" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2237" /></a>Ultimately, these are all labels to make you and I feel better-–he, she, hetero, homo, gay straight etc. We don’t like to get out of our comfort zone as a general rule. For instance, if I assume you are a heterosexual guy, I might ask you, “Who is going to win the Superbowl?” Or if you are an apparent flaming gay boy, I might say, “Did you catch fashion week?” <strong>What becomes noticeable is how flawed all of this thinking is.</strong> You may be a hetero guy who could give a flying fuck about “the game” or you could be a twink who has no idea who Manolo Blahnik is. It is our human nature to want to categorize and make sense of one another. No harm is usually intended.</p>
<p>By the way, note I am using the pronoun &#8216;he&#8217;. As a heads up, one ALWAYS uses the pronoun of however any person identifies. This has nothing to do with whether a person “looks” male or female or what is between their legs. I know we all get used to sizing people up in a matter of seconds but one should never ass-u-me, got it? If a drag queen has a penis but refers to herself with a female name and the pronoun &#8216;she&#8217;, then gosh darn it that is the proper etiquette for how everyone should refer to her.</p>
<p>I think we are all inherently curious about one another. But beyond that knee jerk reaction of, “I’ve decided who you are in the first 30 seconds,” of our interaction or within the first paragraph of an article in <em>People Magazine</em>, I say we learn to give one another a break and get conscious about our pigeon holing.  <strong>We may never train ourselves fully out of the desire to categorize but if we can train ourselves to be conscious of the fact that there is much more to each one of us than meets the eye, I think we will all be pleasantly surprised by how interesting each one of us is. </strong>Obviously, it’s also good practice to keep us on our toes about discrimination and bias. </p>
<p>In the end, we just may begin to evolve as a culture and learn to appreciate one another for all of our quirky nuances. I thank Chaz for putting himself out there and allowing us to learn from his own process of becoming.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/DrKat.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/DrKat.jpg" alt="" title="DrKat" width="100" height="164" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1465" /></a><strong>Dr. Kat</strong> is a Clinical Sexologist Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing in the field of counseling since 1994. In addition to her training in Marriage, Family and Addictions, she has extensive sexuality training. Find out more at:<a href="http://drkat.com"> Dr.Kat.com</a></p>
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		<title>Make sex positions more interesting</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/11/make-sex-positions-more-interesting/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/11/make-sex-positions-more-interesting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Dec 2011 15:01:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Cynthia Loyst]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[woman-on-top postion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2220</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The two most common (popular) positions are missionary and woman-on-top. They have gotten a bad rap but there's nothing wrong with it--especially for couples for whom one gets a kick out of being dominant and the other prefers to be more submissive.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><strong>1) Start with the basics</strong><br />
The two most common (popular) positions are missionary and woman-on-top.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/missionary.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/missionary.jpg" alt="" title="missionary" width="250" height="225" class="alignright size-full wp-image-225" /></a>I know Annie Lennox said, &#8220;Don&#8217;t Mess with a Missionary Man,&#8221; but I think the song is about religion, not sex. This position has gotten a bad rap over the years but I&#8217;m here to tell you there&#8217;s nothing wrong with it – especially for couples for whom one gets a kick out of being dominant and the other prefers to be more submissive.</p>
<p>Woman-on-top is also obviously great for women as they can really control the movement.</p>
<p><em>EXTRA TIP: For those in the &#8220;on-top&#8221; position&#8211;try not just moving in and out but circling your hips.</em></p>
<p><strong>2) Try a different location</strong><br />
Part of the reason we can get stuck always having sex in the same position is because we often have sex in the same room. Why not try the bathroom or the kitchen? When you switch your location, you automatically have to get creative with your position.</p>
<p><em>EXTRA TIP: Even if you do start in another room of the house, don&#8217;t feel like you have to stay there. Think of it as the appetizer – it&#8217;s okay if you go back to the bedroom for the main course.<br />
</em><br />
<strong>3) Avoid acrobatics</strong><br />
While changing things up can definitely provide for new stimulation (both visually and physically) it&#8217;s important to remember, you&#8217;re having sex, not auditioning for the circus.</p>
<p>Not everyone likes to feel like they&#8217;re being manipulated like a Gumby doll, so tread cautiously when you try out a new position and make sure to communicate if it&#8217;s uncomfortable or doesn&#8217;t turn your crank.</p>
<p><em>EXTRA TIP: Some of the crazy acrobatic positions that you see in porn are meant to look interesting but aren&#8217;t the greatest for producing pleasure.</em></p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Cynthia-Loyst1.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/Cynthia-Loyst1.jpg" alt="" title="Cynthia Loyst" width="120" height="180" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1628" /></a>Outspoken, hip, irreverent – yet enlightening, <strong>Cynthia Loyst</strong> is a TV host, advice columnist &#038; relationship coach who likes to ask uncomfortable questions. She’s also a certified life/relationship coach and guest expert on a variety of shows including The Marilyn Denis Show, CTV Newsnet and Etalk. <a href="http://twitter.com/#!/who_to_follow/search/cynthia%20loyst">Follow Cynthia on Twitter</a>.</p>
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		<title>Are open relationships more popular?</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/07/are-open-relationships-more-popular/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/07/are-open-relationships-more-popular/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:10:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[Are open relationships on the rise and what cultural changes do you see in the relationship landscape in Canada and the US? As our society becomes more liberal and accepting, is it reasonable to expect a romantic partner to remain monogamous? Well, we know it can be done and it has been done, countless times. Simply stated, it IS humanly possible, but (as many of us know) it is not a piece of cake.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Recently, a reader wrote in asking: <strong><em>“Are open relationships on the rise and what cultural changes do you see in the relationship landscape in Canada and the US?”</em></strong></p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/polygamy.png"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/polygamy.png" alt="" title="polygamy" width="299" height="211" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2206" /></a>Issues surrounding monogamy have crossed all of our minds at one point or another, especially recently with the constant media hype surrounding “sex addicts” like Tiger Woods, Jesse James, and Arnold Schwarzenegger (to name a few). However, can these celebrity acts of unfaithfulness be generalized to the population? In other words, are their lives significantly different from ours or do their “mishaps” just illustrate the realities of modern life?</p>
<p><strong>As our society becomes more liberal and accepting, is it reasonable to expect a romantic partner to remain monogamous?</strong> Well, we know it can be done and it has been done, countless times. Simply stated, it IS humanly possible, but (as many of us know) it is not a piece of cake. In fact, evolutionary theory would have us believe that it is in our best interest (specifically men’s) to engage in sexual activity with as many people as possible (the water’s get a bit murkier with regards to women’s ideal relationships context).</p>
<p><strong>After all of the advances evolutionary psychology has made within the last few decades, it is becoming clearer and clearer that, although it can be done, monogamy may not be an innate preference</strong>. As a result, monogamy may be too restrictive and unrealistic. From this, people have began to consider nonrestrictive relationships, often called “open relationships.” Although the term “open relationship” only started being used in the 70′s, the phenomena of engaging in sexual activity with more than one person at a time is anything but infantine. In fact, it can be seen it records dating back to the dawning of man.</p>
<p><strong>Although ancient in nature, “open relationships” (related to polyamory), have been on the rise since the sexual revolution in the 70′s.</strong> An exact estimate of the prevalence of “open relationships” is rather difficult to obtain due to the secrecy surrounding these acts and groups of people. Of the few studies that have attempted to examine these populations, estimates have been anything but statistically reliable. In fact, estimates of the prevalence posited by these studies range from 1.7% of the population (Cole &#038; Spaniard, 1974) and 15% of the population (MCGinley, 1995). Furthermore, these estimates are expected to be a little higher as of recently, due to increased acceptance.</p>
<p>So, we know the occurrence of “open relationships” is becoming more and more commonplace. However, besides the increased acceptance, what can account for the rise in the practicing of “open relationships?” One possibility might be the growth in technology including the world wide web. <strong>Increased anonymity associated with the internet make it easier for people identify online as being a part of a stigmatized group. </strong>In particular, the internet is a great place for those interested in “open relationships” to look up relevant information, chat with others sharing similar interests, and/or locate others to to get involved with.</p>
<p>Although, those involved in “open relationships” are no longer considered to be marginalized people, we still do not know a whole lot about who they are. However, from the little information we have, it turns out these people are not much different from you and I.  According to Bergstrand &#038; Williams (2000), people involved in swinging communities (a type of “open relationship”) are, on average, white, middle-class, and middle-aged individuals. On the other hand, when it comes to attitudes toward sex and marriage, they appear to be less sexist and less heterosexist than the general population.</p>
<p>Although monogamy may be difficult for some and far from ideal, there are many powerful incentives to stay faithful with one’s partner (raising children, financial benefits, etc…). That being said, for some, experimenting sexually with a variety of people may be more advantageous than committing to a monogamous relationship with only one person. In that case, “open relationships” may be the right choice for them.</p>
<p>For those looking for further information on swinging and “open relationships,” <a href="http://www.nasca.com/"><strong>click here</strong></a>.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Ashley-Thompson.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Ashley-Thompson.jpg" alt="" title="Ashley Thompson" width="100" height="150" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1756" /></a><strong>Ashley Thompson</strong> is a PhD student at the University of New Brunswick in experimental and applied psychology with research interests in sexuality and attraction.  Ashley completed her undergraduate degree at University of Wisconsin at River Falls in psychology. She is originally from Minneapolis, Minnesota and has moved to Canada for her graduate pursuits. <a href="http://turned-on.net/">Find out more at Turned-On.net.</a></p>
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		<title>Casual sex is now the norm</title>
		<link>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/04/casual-sex-is-now-the-norm/</link>
		<comments>http://trinaread.com/blog/2011/12/04/casual-sex-is-now-the-norm/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 Dec 2011 15:29:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Dr. Trina Read</dc:creator>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://trinaread.com/blog/?p=2196</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The average age of intercourse is 17 in Canada. The average age at marriage is 28 for females and 30 for men (in Canada). So there around 10 years of ‘single’ time for most young adults. Should you accept a life of celibacy other than your own self-pleasuring? Hell no.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It’s funny when you are a sex researcher. I’ve suddenly become the spokesperson for casual sex in all forms – be it One Night Stands or Friends with Benefits.</p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/soap-box.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/soap-box.jpg" alt="" title="Soap Box" width="224" height="168" class="alignright size-full wp-image-2197" /></a>And you know what? <strong>Casual sex relationships can be complicated as f@#@k.</strong> I know that. I probably know that more than your average bear. But here I am…on the defense for casual sex.</p>
<p>But what I have been quite surprised about this week is the bad rap that casual sex apparently has. Since when are we all down on casual sex? </p>
<p>And here is one issue that I have with this negative attitude people have towards casual sex.</p>
<p><strong>The average age of intercourse is 17 in Canada. The average age at marriage is 28 for females and 30 for men (in Canada). So there around 10 years of ‘single’ time for most young adults.</strong></p>
<p>Now, you might be partnered during that time. And hopefully you can get a partner and keep them for the duration of your pre-married years. Or hopefully you are a serial monogamist and can jump from one relationship to another with absolutely no lag time (i.e., dry spells) between relationships. And btw, preventing dry spells is more successful if you are a mate poacher or have been mate poached.</p>
<p>But…what happens when you do have an unfortunate dry spell? Or what if you don’t want to be partnered? What if you don’t want a relationship? What if your schedule doesn’t lend itself well to couples’ events and navigating your partnered relationship on Facebook and 8 seasons of The Office?</p>
<p><strong>Should you accept a life of celibacy other than your own self-pleasuring?</strong></p>
<p>Hell no.</p>
<p>Why don’t you get yourself some casual sex? And I don’t mean the totally incapacitated, erectile dysfunction, passing out before sex, barfing in bed, walk of shame type of One Night Stand sex.</p>
<p><strong>What about some regular casual sex?</strong> Might I suggest a Booty Call or a F@#@k Buddy or a Friend with some Benefits?</p>
<p>Sure, you’re going to have to negotiate the rules of engagement. Sure, it might be a bit complicated.</p>
<p>But so are relationships. And lots of relationships don’t work. But you don’t hear people calling down relationships all day long. (In fact, I’d argue a lot of people spend a lot of time either trying to get into one or trying to make sure they stay in their current one.)</p>
<p>I think (casual) sex for two is worth some negotiation, no?</p>
<p>Click here for a copy of the article for your (casual sexual) reading pleasure &#8211; <a href="http://sexresearchandthecity.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Taking-casual-sex-not-too-casually.pdf">Taking casual sex not too casually</a></p>
<p><a href="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jocelyn-Wentland1.jpg"><img src="http://trinaread.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Jocelyn-Wentland1.jpg" alt="" title="Jocelyn Wentland" width="100" height="95" class="alignleft size-full wp-image-1368" /></a><strong>Jocelyn Wentland</strong> is a Sex Researcher, PhD student at the University of Ottawa. You will find her blogs are sexual, risqué (she likes to push the envelope), potentially offending, fun, but most of all, real. Read more of Jocelyn&#8217;s blog at <a href="http://sexresearchandthecity.com/cv/">Sex Research and The City.com</a></p>
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