It’s been six months since I’ve started this sex journey. My, my how time flies when you’re trying to raise two kids, work and have sex. In a rare quiet moment, it hit me just how much has happened—from positive to negative. Here’s the twenty things I’ve learned about having sex after baby.

I took a look at his list all and although they were fairly (?!?!!?) tame, my stomach still felt queasy. I tried to envision myself confidently traipsing into a room dominatrix-style and showing myself off to my husband. Appreciating it would be fantasy-come-true for him. Yet, I just couldn’t do it.

“Hurry up! I have to leave to catch my plane in an hour,” I said while frantically pulling my husband to the bedroom. Our one-year old was unsupervised for a total of five minutes while we did the deed. Nine months later we got our second son.

When her husband would walk through the door after a full day of work, she would hand over the kids, go upstairs and transform herself from mother into wife. This, she felt, was the reason she and her husband had an incredibly erotic sex life.

My sexless future flashed before my eyes. Trying to fit sex in while carting kids at least four nights a week; with my husband playing hockey four nights a week; on top of everything else that needs to get done in a week. More explanatives muttered.

One merchandise line that has stood the quality test of time is Kamasutra®. Back then it was one of the few higher quality products that emphasized sensuality—instead of (the old and tired) one-way ticket to a rabbit charged, vibrating orgasm. And for that, I feel, Kamasutra® deserves a lot of respect.

Finding my G-spot: is it possible during the 15 to 20 minutes allocated to sex? Nope.

Over the last few weeks I’ve been hearing soft murmurings from my husband, “Well, I only get sex once a week….” It then escalated to, “I only get sex once a week, and it’s always what you want to do.” I did attempt to have the proactive and constructive conversations you’re suppose to have in these moments. They sort of worked, but he kept on complaining.

If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said, “Great sex starts with great communication”, well, I’d be retired to the Bahamas by now. Most couples know this to be true. I believe most couples do want to have an open, honest and transparent communication with their partner. However, proactive communication is tricky at the best of times. Over the long haul, it gets muddled with couple shorthand, ego landmines and eyes glazing over when certain topics are brought up.

Oh shower sex how I love thee. You’re fun, easy, convenient…and quick. Just imagine then ladies and gentlemen—drum roll please—shower sex just got better! Yes, it’s really true. Sport Sheets has come out with an incredible line of shower sex accessories. Thank goodness this challenge was a perfect excuse to try them out.