I totally agree that too much porn and masturbation by one partner can leave little interest, energy or stamina for the times you are together. If the man provides much of the drive for sex, but then redirects that drive towards online girls or videos, then it can be easy to slip into a sexless relationship.

Ironically, just looking at flawless, airbrushed nude girls is widely accepted as harmless soft porn, but probably does the most damage to the ego of the poor wife/girlfriend who feels like she is being compared to these impossible beauties.

However, there may be more legitimate reasons that a person may turn to the internet for sex. They may have a fetish that they don’t feel safe discussing or exploring with their partner. Turning to the internet may provide a sense of acceptance and fulfillment among a community of like-minded people, feelings that may not be found at home.

Hiding a porn/masturbation habit is probably the least healthy thing to do. I agree that a meeting in the middle approach is best. Couples should have a fantasy sharing night once a month which may including showing your partner some of the online porn or erotica that turns you on. Both partners should try as hard as possible to be understanding, accepting and even to enjoy the other’s interests. If done right, not only will both partners need to rely less on the web for sex, but they will also be more understood and trusted when they do access online resources.

PS If a man happens to be turning to the web for a male chasity fetish then that’s easy to address. That’s my situation.