Lesson I learned from last week: Porn can be a fun once in a while treat…I just have to find some porn that I like…

Where Did My Sex Drive Go?
Every single piece of my clothing is covered in snot, spit up and drool. My two kids are sick this week which means that they neither are sleeping at night and both have diarrhea. (I’m sick too but that’s irrelevant.) The last time I got four hours of straight sleep was 2007.

Throughout my day, I’m simultaneously trying to meet work deadlines and keep my toddler from clobbering my 5 month old. Doing 1001 mind numbing tiny chores that once accomplished, need to be done again the next day. Even though I’m back to my regular weight, I can barely look at myself naked in the mirror.

At night my husband and I sit at the dinner table, trying to make conversation—and sometimes we do—but mostly we’re too busy accommodating the children’s demand for attention. There’s always someone screaming, barking (my dogs), crying, fussing, or needing to be breastfed.

Finding time to have sex, some weeks, is the act of sorting out an intricate puzzle of four people’s diverse itineraries. My husband said to me this morning, “I wonder if Tiger Woods understood how difficult it is to have sex with two little kids. Maybe that’s why he cheated.” Nice!?!?

The thing is, this week is the norm and not the exception.

Is There a Magic Sex Pill?
It makes sense then that many new moms feel they have a low libido and search for a ‘magic pill’ to help get them feeling sexual and sexy. In fact, every year millions of women spend billions of dollars on spurious libido enhancement pills, creams and other unproven treatments.

If you’re a new mom two things:
(1) You, most likely, aren’t suffering from a low libido, rather an overload of everything else.
(2) To date there is nothing on the market that has been FDA approved that will help a woman to feel sexual. A new drug called Flibanserin shows promise, but still it hasn’t been FDA approved.

After seeing bogus libido product after bogus libido product on the market, I got a press release for Zestra (*see product description below). After looking at their website I thought, “What the heck, I’ll give it a go. See if it really does get my girly-parts all perky and ready for sex.”

My thoughts on Zestra
Zestra was tough to review. On the plus side, the “Essential Arousal Oils” are all natural (i.e. Primrose Oil, etc.) unlike some similar products on the market. It did produce a lovely warm and tingly effect that lasted for 45 minutes. However, it didn’t help to get me more in the mood; nor did it make it easier to achieve a clitoral or vaginal orgasm (as its advertising alludes).

Verdict: It’s a nice product that can give your vulva a happy little ‘pick-me-up’ boost. And sometimes in a hectic day, that’s a good thing.

My Husband’s thoughts on Zestra
There really wasn’t anything for him to say about the product. He apparently didn’t feel the same warm, tingly sensation even though there skin to skin contact.

* Zestra is a safe, patented blend of botanicals oils and extracts, created to help women feel more — effortlessly. Topically applied Zestra works within minutes by heightening your sensitivity to touch – for deep, pleasurable sensations, sexual satisfaction and fulfillment. After applying Zestra to the clitoris and labia, the effects – the Zestra Rush™ – begin for most women within 3 to 5 minutes and last for up to 45 minutes.

Lesson I learned from last week: Even though get my fill of intimacy with interactions from my children, it’s important I keep a solid intimate connection with my husband. And making that connection is so much fun.

To end the “All-about-my husband’s-Valentine-month-Sexpalooza”, I decided to give him a little porn treat. Pirates 2: Stagnetti’s Revenge, is a porn spoof of the movie Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s a four disk “collectors” set and has received a lot of positive hype.

Oh Those Crazy University Days
When I was in university, my male roommate published a swinger magazine. Part of his magazine’s editorial was reviewing porn; so there was always a porn movie on at the house.

(Once I came home to find two naked women wrestling in vegetable oil on my kitchen floor who were being photographed for the mag’s cover shot. All I could say to my roommate was, “I hope you’re going to clean this up!”) That time in my life seems so surreal now.

Watching that much porn then and during graduate school makes me rather ho-hum about it. Viewing a porn with my husband hasn’t been that exciting (for him) because instead of me getting all hot and bothered, I’m too busy commenting on other things—like lighting quality, set construction and whether actors are wearing condoms.

Porn…what a touchy topic with women
Feminists (loudly) proclaim that porn degrades women and uses them as objects only for the pleasure of men. Too many women automatically give a thumbs-down to watching a porn flick without trying it out for themselves.

What do women porn actors think?
While attending graduate school, some of my classmates were former porn actors. I’ve also spoken at sex trade shows and have met my share of porn leading ladies (and men). Every single one of these women in no way feel exploited. They, in fact, think they are the true feminist because they are able to express their sexuality as they want and aren’t suppressed by society’s narrow definition of what is appropriate sexual conduct.

Porn Pros and Cons
Admittedly, there are some not so great things about porn that the media tends to obsess about. Yes, porn—especially internet porn—can have detrimental effects for males who show obsessive compulsive tendencies. Yes, there is some hardcore stuff out there. Yes, porn tends to be male-centric.

However, there are also a lot of good things to be said about porn. And for the majority of the population, a little soft porn can add a bit of spice and fun to your sex life. More and more, porn producers realize there is a solid market of women who like to watch porn.

So, perhaps it’s time to try porn. If you try it and don’t like it, fine. But at least give it a couple of, heartfelt, tries. You might be surprised that it turns into a fun once-in-a-while treat for you and your partner.

My Rating on Pirates’ Porn
With all the hype surrounding Pirates 2, I was disappointed. On the positive side, it’s the best ‘movie’ porn I’ve seen—the acting is so-so, but come on it’s a porn flick. There’s a strong story line, drama and some pretty funny one-liners. But when it got into the sex scenes, I must confess it wasn’t my cup of tea. The sex was too edgy, very male-centric.

Sigh. I really wanted to recommend a good porn for women to watch but this wouldn’t be it. I promise to look around and find something better. Stay tuned—I will find something before the end of this Six Month Sex Challenge.

My Husband’s Rating on Pirate’s Porn
Two ratings again this week. 7.5/ 10 for it being a, “movie with sex scenes” with great special effects. 5/10 for the sex scenes. He felt it was “jack rabbit sex” and the actors were way over the top enthusiastic during sex. He much prefers porn where there is a connection between the actors and the sex is more sensual. (Ya’ see ladies, guys aren’t automatically turned-on by big breasted, skinny-arsed naked women having sex on a screen.)

Lesson I learned from last week: Male masturbation toys are a positive alternative for couples in ‘dry’ periods of couple sex.

What is Intimacy?
Too often people assume that the word ‘intimacy’ has to do solely with sex: saying things like, “Let’s get intimate tonight.” When I appear on some TV shows, the producers ask me to substitute the word ‘intimacy’ for ‘sex’ to make the segment ‘kid friendly’.

Intimacy is in fact a deeply shared connection to another human being. Sex just happens to be an easy segue to get to intimacy. We have intimate moments all the time with people who we are closest to: children, parents, friends, spouse.

Intimacy with my Baby
Mother Nature made sure moms are hardwired to ensure their newborn is safe, healthy, happy and well adjusted. As such, a woman’s entire physiology and brain chemistry changes once giving birth. Add to this the time and attention women invest into the mommy/ child(ren) relationship, it’s really a no-brainer why they experience profound intimacy with their child(ren).

There have been many moments—when I’m not tearing my hair out—where I feel an absolute soul quenching connection to my children. It’s an incredibly potent hit of feel-good hormones.

As I’m getting my fill of intimacy from interactions with my children, my husband, meanwhile, sits in the wings waiting for me to throw him an intimacy bone.

It’s not that I don’t want to share intimate experiences with my husband or that I don’t feel I have the capacity to take in any more of these wonderful feelings. Plain and simple: I’m already intimately satiated.

But I want to stay happily married
Happily being the key word here. It’s incredibly important to have at least a few pockets of well remembered intimacy with my husband. Yet between being screaming busy and bone retching exhaustion, trying to have couple intimate moments is both fickle and tricky.

That’s where Embrace comes in
I L-O-V-E the Embrace board game (*see product description below). When I do lectures I schlep big boxes (ugh!) of his board game to sell because I believe so strongly that it can help a couple to achieve a deeper level of intimacy.

I’m really glad that we get to play Embrace because we need to nurture each other.

My rating on Embrace
My husband, who must categorically follow the rules, read out the instructions which were all about ‘setting the mood’ with soft music, candles, wine. Lovely, lovely rules.

I watched as he went about following the instructions and, among other things, he put on Diana Krall. Gosh, I haven’t listened to her since my first son was born and was immediately lulled into a dreamy state. We decided to go with the “Lovey Dovey” (first level) because I wanted to create romance and intimacy.

All I can say it was really, really fun and worthwhile. Highlights include: him doing a striptease (laughed my arse off), a slow dance, and being blind folded while a feather tickler was traced all over my body. Heavenly.

I can’t say enough good things about Embrace. Every couple should have it in their toy chest.

My husband’s rating on Embrace
8.5/ 10 for creating romance. He loves how it is a balanced mix of: helping couples talk; doing fun activities; and trying new ideas. His favorite part was remembering some great times we’ve shared together.

Here’s Dr. Brian’s Forever Pleasure.com three picks for us to try:
(1) Duet Cock Ring
(2) Tenga Flip
(3) Embrace board game
* Embrace is a sensually stimulating board game for lovers. Players move throughout the board revealing sexually intimate thoughts and feelings, and performing erotic challenges with one another. The game can be played on three different levels: Romantic (Lovey Dovey), Sexual Intimacy (Close Encounters), and/or Hot Sex (Sexstacy). Sue Johanson, host of “The Sunday Night Sex Show” and “Talk Sex With Sue” put Embrace in her Pleasure Chest (the highest rating for sex toys) and said “playing the game encourages you to reveal those innermost thoughts. Thoughts you’ve maybe been wanting to share, but were nervous or shy about telling your partner. And you’re given erotic challenges, like ‘blindfold your partner and lick them all over’. I liked the game. I think it could help deepen a couple’s intimacy – and that’s always desirable.”

Click here to watch the video.

Lesson I learned from last week: Using the vibrating cockring made my perineum feel great.

Yet Another Chaotic Week…
Had my parents visiting this week—Valentine’s week…a very, very busy week for me—and my newborn is teething, etc., etc., etc. All I can say is after this flat-out crazy week, thank goodness Dr. Brian recommended the Tenga Flip–I needed the laugh.

The Parent Libido Dampener Effect
Had to wait until my parents left before I could have sex. Nothing zaps my amorous mood faster than my parent’s sleeping in the bedroom directly below me. Yes I’m 41, grown up, and married but I still feel like I’m 16 years old sneaking around. This is topped only by my mother-in-law’s guest bedroom where there is a picture of the Virgin Mary, hands clasped in prayer, serenely looked down at us. Even a sex expert has her limits.

Dr. Brian’s Penis Advice
Before we get into the Tenga Flip, I wanted to share a wonderful Dr. Brian tip you can use to brighten your man’s Valentine’s Day: “Praise his penis”. Men love, love, love it when you tell them just how wonderful their penis looks. May seem silly to some women—at least it did to me when Brian first told me—but it’s 110% accurate.

Try it. You will be pleasantly surprise at how your man walks around like a prize peacock for the rest of the day.

Masturbating Pet Peeve
I’ve met countless women who aren’t that interested in sex after baby. That’s perfectly fine; it can take up to a year before her hormones readjust themselves. But these same women get their panties in a complete twist if their husbands take care of their own needs in the interim.

Come on! Please don’t become the woman who says, “If I’m not going to enjoy sex than neither can you.” Him masturbating does not mean he doesn’t love you, or find you attractive, or is ‘cheating’. Masturbating is healthy and natural and men should never be made to feel wrong about it.

In fact, experts report that about 94% of adult men masturbate regularly. So it you want to help your guy out, there are toys on the market that will produce some extremely powerful orgasms.

That’s where the Tenga Flip comes in (*see product description below). It’s a funny looking device—it looks like a traffic light. Had to call Dr. Brian to find out how it all worked. After a brief tutorial, was really jazzed about trying it out.

How Did I Enjoy Tenga Flip
It was incredibly cute. Knowing he was in for a Valentine’s surprise my husband casually said, “Let me know if I should cancel a hockey game.” Cancel hockey??!?! Him playing hockey (four times a week) is sacrosanct. He must have been really, really excited about his Valentine’s Day surprise. His enthusiasm made me want to make it an even more special time.

When it came time to use the Tenga Flip…it didn’t quite work out.

In my defense it looks like a traffic light. As soon as I ‘put it on’ I started to giggle at the sight (I’ll let you come up with your own visual). Then I started pushing the three different buttons and the vacuum effect (which is a fantastic feature) started making all sorts of squelching noises. Sort of like really loud slurping. The giggles turned into full on laughter.

Needless to say, my husband found it really hard to get into the mood with me laughing my head off. So we went to plan “B” and had regular sex which was really quite fun.

Will leave the Tenga Flip for him to use on his own because it is a great male toy.

Husband’s Rating on Tenga Flip
He gives two ratings: 7.5/ 10 for a single male masturbation toy. He loves how it is engineered and how the inside feels incredibly realistic. He likes how it is easy to use and clean. 5/10 for using as a couple’s toy (to be fair, maybe next time I wouldn’t be laughing so hard and it could be something we could use together.)

Here’s Dr. Brian’s Forever Pleasure.com three picks for us to try:
(1) Duet Cock Ring
(2) Tenga Flip
* The world’s premier male sex toy Every inch of this high-end Japanese sleeve has been designed to give a male the most intense physical pleasure possible. Engineered with the likes of side ribs, quattro waves, lip flaps, and 3 buttons which control the pressure on different parts of the penis, this toy is sure to please. The case opens up and doubles as a drying rack so it is easy to clean and stays hygenic.
(3) Embrace board game

Lesson I learned from last week: Learning to love my body won’t be as simple as buying a new set of lingerie. But at least I’ve made a start.

All-about-him Valentine’s month
In honor of Valentine’s Day I decided to treat my sweetheart (that would be my husband) to three weeks of fun. It’s an all-about-him sex palooza.

Decided to get a male perspective on what men would like. Naturally called on my friend and Sexologist, Dr. Brian Parker, owner of Forever Pleasure.com an on on-line high end toy company. Dr. Brian is a tireless advocate who educates people on healthy sex toys. He has a ton of F-R-E-E information on his website to help you make the best educated purchases.

Here’s Dr. Brian’s three picks for us to try:
(1) Duet Cock Ring
(2) Valentine’s Surprise for my hubby (which I’ll reveal next week because my husband reads this blog and I don’t want to giveaway his ‘big surprise’) And all I can say to my hubby is—“Oh la la…just you wait!”
(3) Embrace board game

Decided to try the Duet Cock Ring first. I find the term “cock ring” bugs me—almost put me off the idea entirely. Maybe it’s because I’m a gal and I want sexual terminology to be more romantic. But, alas, cock ring is a perfect descriptor of what the device is.

What’s a cock ring?
A cock ring is a ring that is placed around the base of a man’s penis, primarily to slow the flow of blood from the erect penile tissue, thus maintaining erection for a longer period of time. (I could have put a photo here of an erect penis with a cock ring at it’s base…but somehow I’m not sure how it would go over…)

Men love anything that makes their penis look good.

As well, it decreases male sensitivity so he will last a little longer. When you have a vibrating cock ring, like the Duet, his penis becomes like a human vibrator which ups the fun for both parties.

The Duet Cock Rick has the couple’s pleasure in mind
Made of incredibly stretchy elastomer with vibrating bullets on the top and bottom for his and her fun. The top vibe stimulates the penis and clitoris, while the bottom vibe stimulates his balls and her perineum. This smart toy can be used with constant vibration or on a touch-sensitive setting where it only vibrates when pressing against the clitoris.

So how was the Duet?
I liked how the Duet stimulated my clit, but surprisingly, more so I really enjoyed the vibrations on the perineum. It was almost like I bumped into an long lost friend and said, “Hey, I forgot you existed perineum and you feel really nice. Must try to include you a lot more often during sex.”

Husband’s rating on the Duet
He gave it a 7.5/ 10. He really like that it made me happy. He also liked how it’s engineered with an on/off option or a touch-sensitive option. However, the elastomer was a bit too stretchy for him—he prefers a snugger fitting cock ring.

Make sure to do something special for your Valentine.

There are many different types of edible chocolate sauces on the market so it is best to know the good from the bad. Most are made from Belgian chocolate, but the quality can vary.

Belgian Chocolate Sauce
Available in female or male body
Positives:
• Comes in a beautiful, artistic bottle
• Great tasting Belgian chocolate
Negatives:
• Chocolate seems to be a little chunky when heated
• Sauce can be too thick for finely detailed painting
Overall Rating: 3/5
(Click here to buy)

Fun Factory’s Colore Moi Chocolate Kissable Body Paint

Positives:
• Vibrant colors (available in 8 different flavors including strawberry and banana)
• Natural aromas and stimulating sensations that add excitement to partner play
Negatives:
• Somewhat expensive (only comes in a 40ml tube)
• Doesn’t come with a paintbrush applicator
Overall Rating: 4/5

Lesson I learned from last week: Using the We-Vibe vibrator wasn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it might be.

So for this week’s it’s-about-me-this-week challenge, I decided to clean my underwear draw, and buy some new lingerie. Thought it might be just the thing to get the “love my body” thing underway.

The Lingerie Draw
Since university—while living on spaghetti and adrenaline—I’ve had a draw full of beautiful, expensive lingerie. It cusped on obsession. And this was before the Victoria Secret took the world by storm.

In my twenties, I swore up, down and sideways that unless it had to do with period-panties, I would NEVER, ever wear cotton undies.

I would hand wash the underwear, fold it precisely and set it lovingly in the draw. There were always lavender bags scattered throughout to give a lovely fresh scent. It felt delicious every time I opened the draw.

When I first got married, it was incredibly fun to parade out the bra and panty sets. Sometimes in the morning, I would ask my husband, “Which set would you like to see on me tonight?” Knowing he would go to work and daydream about the underwear.

Then I got pregnant with our first child. The little wisps of lace panties quickly stopped fitting properly. I’m too pragmatic to buy expensive underwear to keep up with my temporarily expanding body, so I bought a ten pack of cotton pregnancy underwear.

After my son was born, my body had changed shape. Most notably, my already tiny breasts became saggy-raisins (ugh!) and most of my beautiful bras no longer fit. Slowly and with much angst, I started to toss them in the garbage. I started buying more cotton underwear because it was more convenient to wash and wear with a little baby.

Since baby #2, my once pristine underwear draw is now a dumping place. No gentle wash. No precise folding. No scented satchels. I take the underwear straight from the laundry hamper and dump it into the draw. Every time I open the draw, my guts clench because it’s such a mess.

Can the Underwear be a Metaphor?
Not to read too much into this, but I would say the underwear draw is a perfect metaphor for how I feel about myself and my body sexually.

I used to take care of myself and take pride in my appearance. Now feel I’m doing well by not walking out the door in a ratty pair of sweatpants.

Buying Underwear Should Be a Fun Experience
Went shopping for the underwear…with my two children. Bad idea. Very bad idea indeed. As my toddler lunged at each and every bra rack, I didn’t really have a chance to get a good look. Grabbed something that looked my size.

Got Home and Looked in the Mirror…
Got home and tried it on. It was difficult looking at myself in the mirror. At first I thought it was because I’m still a few pounds over my normal weight and look marshmallow soft.

But I realized while trying on the bra—while simultaneously picking crusty snot off my breast from where my newborn was feeding, and listening as my toddler excitedly pointed out, “There’s mummy’s vulva!”—that I’ve got a weird asexual mommy vibe happening.

In the end…
The bra didn’t fit well and the panties were too tight and scratchy—or maybe the panties did fit well but I’m now used to how cotton panties stretch.

So this week’s challenge was almost a bust. I did clean up my underwear draw, and it felt good to open it and not see mess. Maybe this is the first step in the slow process of feeling sexual again.

My husband’s rating on the underwear
Was so discouraged while trying on the underwear that I half-hazardly tossed it into a nearby laundry basket (and promptly forgot about it). My husband, naturally, found it. Came and happily asked, “Did you do that on purpose? Just so I could find it ‘by accident’.” Men! Never did end up doing a fashion show for my husband. Too insecure.

Lesson I learned from last week: I’m really digging the weeks when sex is all about me and all my daydreaming becomes wonderful foreplay.

Struck with The Baby Blues
I suppose I’m lucky. I’ve dealt with mild depression for twenty years. Managed by an on-going regime of eating well, exercise and understanding what is happening (rather than fighting it).

With this baby I’ve had a touch of post-partum depression. It comes out suddenly—mostly when I’m exhausted—stays a little while and then goes away. My world hasn’t been turned upside down because I’m used to depression; it’s more of a hugely inconvenient blip.

Still, the feelings of despair, hopelessness and anxiety are, well, what they are. I’m so busy just trying to get through those particular days in one piece that there is nothing left to give to my partner. In fact, I need him to take over.

Here is yet another obstacle to add to the long list of things that make sex after baby complicated.

Sex? Really? This Week?
This is the first time since I started this Six Month Sex Challenge that I really couldn’t stand the thought of sex or anything it takes to create intimacy with my partner. I refuse to feel guilty about it—because the guilt can easily send me into a depressive tailspin.

HOWEVER, the research/ scientific part of my brain kept nagging at me, “In for a penny, in for a pound.” This would be a perfect opportunity to experience first hand whether the potent mix of happy-hormones secreted during sex is the elixir to help curb this depression.

So there you go. Sex in the name of science.

How Was the We-Vibe?
So this week is about my husband and Sue recommended we try the We-Vibe. (*See below for Sue’s other recommendations.)

We’ve tried the We-Vibe before baby and loved it. However, this time I’m dealing with my breastfeeding dry-vagina so I wanted to see if intercourse would be uncomfortable.

Well, it was better than I expected. With plenty of water based Pink lube (never use a silicone toy with silicone lube) it was actually bordering on pleasant. Although initial entry into the vagina was uncomfortable.

Getting a bit technical here…I believe (an educated guess) the vibrations from the We-Vibe on both the clitoris and vaginal wall were able to bring blood to the surface and help the overall vulva area to become aroused quicker.

Woohoo! Is all I have to say about the We-Vibe! (And it was invented by a fellow Canadian.)

What about the Post Partum Depression?
I did feel a spike in happy feelings for about a half an hour. What I didn’t expect though was my husband post-sex left me lingering kisses, cuddles and touches for the rest of the day. That affection really did a lot to help keep away the depression.

Husband rating on We-Vibe
He gives it an 9.5/10. He believes the We-Vibe is the best sex toy he’s ever tried. He thinks it good sharing toy for both the gal and guy. It’s nota threatening type of phallic shaped and it’s really easy to use. (You must understand my husband is SUPER analytical and critical about EVERYTHING—I can’t believe he actually gave a 9.5 rating.)

Thanks Sue for your great suggestions.

* For those who might have missed Sue’s suggestions, here they are again.
1) We-Vibe II
The We-Vibe 2 is worn while making love. It inserts putting pressure on the g-spot and the bottom sits against the clitoris. Here’s the kicker, you wear it during penetrative sex. The We-Vibe is hands free, strap free and wireless. Created from medical grade silicone, the We-Vibe is soft and conforms to the female shape, making it comfortable and easy to use.
2) Jimmy Jane Massage Candles
3) Pink Water
(She also likes Tracy Cox’ Sex Decks, and anything Lelo.)

Lesson I learned from last week: I will need to use plenty of silicone lube to make intercourse comfortable while I’m breastfeeding fulltime.

The Magnificent Jimmy Jane Candle

Warm massage oil being dribbled onto, and lovingly massaged into my tired naked body. This was the thought that I’ve been fantasizing—perhaps obsessing—about all week.

Was thrilled that Sue Naylen-Sorrell from A Little More Interesting recommended the Jimmy Jane Candle (*see her other suggestions below) and it was my ‘job’ to try all of her recommendations.

As it was a challenging week—what’s new?—I needed the fantasy to get through. My computer got a major Trojan virus (who are these nasty people doing this malicious stuff?); I’m finding pee all over as my toddler figures out potty training; and the house is on a rigorous mornings schedule so I can write my next book Sex After Baby.

All of it manageable as I kept reading the Jimmy Jane Candle description: “Light AFTERGLOW and use it as a candle, then blow it out and drizzle it on the body. When heated, the wax liquefies into high-slip massage oil that softens and hydrates the skin. Great while lit, even better in the dark. More than a candle, it’s an encounter.” Made me tingly all over.

Setting the Mood 101—A Refresher Course
The day of my glorious warm massage I wanted it to be a special evening. I thought, “I’m going to make a nice supper for us.” Then as 5:00 rolled around, I had the chance to look in the mirror—major frump girl. Put on some we’re-having-company clothes, a little makeup and earrings. Husband came home and I gave him an affectionate kiss.

After I put my toddler to bed thought, “I’m going to light some candles.” Somehow found six tea lights on the top shelf of closet and dusted them off. Inspired the warm mood of candles, I went into my closet and pulled out a negligee set. Slipped it over my head…and it was snug…but still able to pull it over my ample booty.

ACK! Looked down and my legs looked like they belonged to a gorilla. Madly dashed into the bathroom and shaved my legs.

Vibrating with excitement, I found my husband who had somehow lulled our newborn to sleep—thank god! Did a little twirl in my negligee as he admired me—while simultaneously giving me an update on how he was fixing the Trojan virus. (Truly grateful I have him to fix my computer, but come on, this is an all-about-me moment.)

I led him to the bedroom. Just before we stepped over the threshold, he stepped in some missed toilet-training toddler pee (honestly, my house is not a pig sty). Took a couple of minutes to clean it up.

How was the massage?
I am happy to say that I was not let down. Having the warm wax drizzled onto my back was the closest thing to erotic I’ve felt in months. The scent of the ‘Fig Leaf’ was lovely—not too sweet or over powering. And the wax didn’t leave a stain on my negligee or sheets.

The massage felt so heavenly that there was a drool spot on the sheets. Felt so relaxed and happy that I wanted to reciprocate—so I gave my husband a mini-massage.

Besides the mad dash to the bathroom to dehair my legs, setting the mood was easy and fun. Overall very lovely and much needed experience.

Husband rating on Jimmy Jane Candle
He gives it an 8/10. He loves the fragrance and the sensations of the warm massage oil.

Next week, it’s all about my husband and we’ll be trying Sue’s recommended We-Vibe.

* For those who might have missed Sue’s suggestions, here they are again.
Here’s her list:
1) We-Vibe II
2) Jimmy Jane Massage Candles
3) Pink Water
(She also likes Tracy Cox’ Sex Decks, and anything Lelo.)