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Getting busy is good for you inside and out – it can do everything from lower blood pressure and reduce stress and depression, to tighten your pelvic muscles and boost your immune system. What’s more, when a woman is enjoying her sex life, it raises her sexual self-confidence and boosts self-esteem, says Dr. Trina Read, sexologist and author of Till Sex Do Us Part. A satisfying romp in the sack floods the brain with feel-good hormones, which can increase intimacy between partners, says Read. A hot and sweaty session also burns about 240 calories every hour (which just about equals one post-coital scoop of ice cream).
The number one thing for new moms to remember: don’t feel guilty if you’re not having a lot of sex for the first year of your baby’s life. With the lifestyle, body, hormones and changes, it’s understandable why sex falls off the radar,” notes Dr. Read...
“Most people have very limiting sex positions—three at the most,” she says. So, to encourage women to change it up in the bedroom, Read has provided four new moves.
“You can’t have zero communication and expect amazing sex. You need to create a lot of intimacy outside the bedroom,” says Read. “Every day, do three things: Make sure you touch your partner in a non-sexual way, say something nice to your partner and kiss them for 10 seconds.”
When you first start dating a guy, it’s easy to fall hard and fast. The reason, he’s on an all-out mission to charm the pants off you…literally and figuratively. “The wooing stage is about selling himself and putting his best foot forward,” says sexologist Trina Read.
Differences can create relationship havoc, with on person feeling rejected and the other feeling pressured. “It’s what I call the ‘shame-blame-flame’ cycle,” says Trina Read. “The person who wants to have sex feels unwanted and says something that makes the other person feel guilty or shamed. Then the shamed person blames the other: ‘Well if you did such-and-such, maybe I’d want to have sex.’ And then comes the ‘flame’: anger, resentment and an argument.”
Women are attracted to men who are outgoing and put themselves out there,” says Dr. Trina. “For example, the guy who gets up on the dance floor and does the white-man-overbite is far more sexy than the sulky guy in the corner nursing his beer.”
Looking back, I can pinpoint the moment I started thinking that ‘down there’ was naughty. I was five, and a neighbor boy and I decided to pee into a cup to see how urine came out. Wow, did I get a spanking when Mom caught me!
So when Trina Read and her new husband honeymooned on Vancouver Island, she made sure to get several shots of the two of them kissing and hugging. “I put my favorite picture in a beautiful frame and placed it on my desk,” she says, “It serves as a daily reminder of what our relationship can be. More than once when I was furious with my husband, I saw the picture of us happy, laughing and smooching, and it softened my position.”
When the highly sensitive cells around the vaginal openings become engorged with blood, they also become extra-responsive to pressure and vibrations, says Trina Read. And, she says, when you’re pregnant, the uterus tightens more powerfully during orgasm, making those waves of joy even more intense.
This kind of carnal connection isn’t about insta-orgasm. “It’s about savoring every touch and sensation, which magnifies the physical and emotional experience,” says Trina Read.
“I love Sex and the City,” says Trina Read, “It’s a show about four women who have four very different perspectives on sex; allowing most women to identify themselves with a character. In terms of content, it pushes the envelope on what a ‘normal average person’ believes to be true around sexuality, and does it in a funny and disarming way.”
Read generally thinks people need to have more fun in the bedroom. “People think it has to be so serious. You should play. When we’re kids we play a lot, why not play in the bedroom?” Read says “hurry-up-sex” is the most common problem she hears about.
(On Swing Clubs becoming legal in Canada)
Trina Read said adult group sex activity is nothing to consider deviant. “If a bunch of consenting adults decide to take this lifestyle on, why would it be considered indecent in the first place? They’re behind closed doors.”
Q: Why has his libido taken a nosedive?
A: “If a man is under a lot of stress, it will negatively affect his sex drive,” says Dr. Trina Read... (rest of answer given)
Q: Why do I always cry after an orgasm—even though I’m happy?
A: When you orgasm, your brain releases a hormone called oxytocin, which can unleash an intense rush of feelings,” explains Trina Read... (rest of answer given)